Page 45 of The Longest Speed Date

Me: good, awkward, but good.

Me: loved your Kakadu photos earlier. Looked like a great trip

Ari: Tour was fantastic and worth every cent. But feels a bit weird catching up on the fires while I’ve been playing tourist. Cody sounded exhausted when I called the fam today. Almost wanted to drive back home to help.

Ari: But enough of fires, what did Santa bring?

Me: Ha. Mum found our old stockings in the linen cupboard and hung them on the fireplace. Now I know what the two random nails in the mantlepiece are for.

Me: she stuffed our stocking with chocolate, socks and jocks. And they gave me a new welcome mat for the front door. I think that makes me officially middle aged now?

Me: bro gave me a gift card.

Ari: hahaha! my fam gave me money since I’m way over here at the mo

Ari: Ash said she has a present for me when I get back.

Ari: My gifts haven’t arrived yet, ugh. Glad you got my shell before Christmas. Ash is pregnant and both her and Cody are glowing. Bit of a bombshell dropped over the Christmas call. Going to be a low key courthouse ceremony after they see his family in Canada. They fly Boxing Day

Me: Not surprised to hear they are tying the knot. And that’s awesome re Ash! Aunty Ari has a nice ring to it

Ari: it does. Of course now I have to buy all the cute baby things as I travel.

Ari: So, it was news to me: you and Ash text as well?

Me: we’re colleagues, Ari …

Ari: you’ve never mentioned it

Me: I didn’t? It’s only been recent. Ash has been on my back to improve my home cooking. I baked a ham for Christmas dinner today and the fam said it was a success

Me: and Mum saw your card and the shell and there was an inquisition about who Ari was

Ari: Ohhhh what did you say?

Ari: just a little something from my sext pal

She’d signed that card with a love heart with her name in it. Did that mean something more than sext pals?

Me: the old mates at the pub call you my ‘lady friend’

Ari: hahaha! do they call your male friends ‘man friends’?

Me: I’m not sexting any of my man pals

Ari: speaking of … do you have privacy tonight? Or are walls thin between you and your parents?

Me: folks are retired to the van. Bro is camping in backyard. I have the place to myself. No baths while they are here but I’m in bed and alone

Ari: video call or photos?

The idea of being busted by Mum and Dad coming into the house to use the bathroom while I had my dick in hand on a naked video call to Ari did not help set the mood.

Me: what if we sent each other short videos?

Me: send me a cheeky little striptease. I’ll return one. I’ll even wear my Santa hat.

Ari: Tis the season to strip in a Santa hat *winky face emoji*

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