Page 21 of In The Game

“I will.”

“I mean it, Ral. The sooner the better. Then after you do that, get a job, Ral. Arealone.”

“I do have a real job.”

She scoffs. “Yeah? Are young, unwed pregnant women in demand these days for modeling?” Shit, I didn’t even consider that. “Whatever you do, you better have something with insurance so you can go to the obstetrician.”

Obste-what?

“What’s an obstetrician?”

The noise returns, and she laughs again. “Oh my God, I don’t have time for this. Look it up. I gotta go, Jerry’s won at the craps table. Do what I said, find the dad, ask for money, go to the doctor. But don’t expect much from him. You’re on your own now. Once you have a kid, your life is over. So better start getting your shit together.” The call is disconnected.

I'vebeenon my own. I set down the phone and drop my head into my hands, bawling. My only example of motherhood iswhat not to do. She’s right though, I need to get a hold of Barrett. But I will not go about it the way she thinks. I refuse to be like my mom. He seems like a nice guy, I don’t want to take advantage, but he deserves to know, and some child support would be helpful.

What if he wants me to get rid of it? It would be easier, but the regret would kill me. My mom told me so many times that having a baby ruined her life. If I can love this baby enough to put it first, I’ll be leagues above the mother I had. I could give this child a chance. Give themreal love.The kind I always wanted.

I grab my laptop and start googling. Obstetrician. Oh, it’s an OB. Duh.Why couldn’t she have simply said that?I also learned that pregnancy is likely the reason behind all the naps and heartburn over the last couple weeks.

I set the laptop next to me and fall onto my back, draping an arm over my face. How do I tell Barrett? He’s going to flip. What do I even say?Hey, remember me? That chick that took your last condom and then you came in me? I’m pregnant with your baby!Fuck, I need to pace before I do this. I traverse back and forth across my bedroom. I grab my phone and look him up on Instagram.

BarrettConwayOfficial.

I click Follow and type out a message. Then delete it. The second attempt turns into my sixth attempt. Whatever, I’m not telling him over a DM that I’m pregnant. I’ve got to do it face-to-face. I type up one last response and click send.

Rahlee789:

Hey, Bear.

It’s Raleigh from Raleigh. Wondering if you would want to grab coffee sometime? Either way, give me a call or text 612-555-7332.

If I am going to have anybody’s kid, Bear is a good choice, I suppose. Maybe he’ll be understanding and supportive? After enough time, he might even see me as more than a bunny. We could have one of those good bad dates again.

Ugh, who am I kidding? I’ve seen how this shit goes down in real life, celebrities get women pregnant and then hide them like a dirty little secret. I’ll keep this baby for myself before that happens.

Well, step one initiated.

Onto step two. I pull up my resume and spend the next three hours working on it to make it perfect. I’ve got my last finals before graduation, so I don’t want to send out anything until I have that diploma. Unless… I run toward the front door and grab my purse. I dig through my wallet and pull out the business card. Rob Waters. Method Marketing is a big firm. If I start right away, I could give them at least eight months of work before I give birth.

Do I have to tell them I’m pregnant? Yes, I should tell them, but what if it costs me the job? I can’t risk that. This might be the best job opportunity I’ll get. My stomach growls, and I zip up the wallet but keep the card out so I can put it on the fridge as a reminder. I’m going to call.

First, I need to eat. I head into the kitchen and find leftovers, but as soon as I smell them heating in the microwave, I want to throw up again. I grab a sleeve of crackers and take small nibbles until I’m able to find my appetite again. After that, it’s another nap.

The next morning, I’m still tired. It’s like I’m never rested anymore. Doesn’t matter, I need to find a new job and get to work. First, I check my email for all the modeling gigs coming up so I can schedule as many as I can. Thankfully, most events are at night. My best chance for success is to find a full-time job so I can work during the day and then snag as many promotional gigs as I can until my body looks pregnant. This way I’ll be able to save up money.

I still have a lot of money management stuff to take care of. I’ll need to cancel my gym membership and narrow down those streaming services. I will need every cent, which also means no more daily Starbucks, hair appointments, waxings, restaurants, and the only clothes I’ll be buying are from Target.

Sure, I’ve been used to all those fun little treats, but seeing myself woman up and sacrifice for my child who’s not even here yet? That makes me smile. I will find a way to do this.

“Hang in there, little…seed thing.”I’ll need to come up with a better nickname.“I’m gonna do everything I can for us.”

EIGHT

Every hour that goes by with my unanswered DM makes me more anxious. It doesn’t help that I’m still hiding under the covers. My ladybug friend flew away, so I should probably leave the room too.

Shit.I don’t want my kid to grow up not knowing who their dad is. I went through that, it sucked. Unfortunately, the whole Lakes organization seems hellbent on blacklisting me. I tried to contact him through the home office, and they referred me to his public relations manager. Public relations won’t return my calls. I tried to go to his agent, then I ended up with public relations again. Nobody has been even the slightest bit helpful, so I’m sure at this point they think I’m some fan gone apeshit.

Finally, my phone dings with an Instagram notification and it’s like a prayer being answered.Please be Barrett.When I see the first few words in his DM, a smile breaks out across my face.

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