Page 122 of In The Game

“I thought you said my pussy was going to take it from now on.”

A lop-sided smile forms on his lips and his eyes sparkle.

“Did I say I was done?”

FORTY-SIX

“He looks like you,” I tell him.

Barrett smiles beside me, and I sink my toes in the warm sand of the secluded beach while Arthur plays about twenty feet away. I don’t remember the last time I felt so content and at peace. Maybe never. The waves lap on shore in regular intervals, and palm trees sway in time with the breeze. He’s quiet while we watch on.

The more I observe the two together, the more I want to tell our son who Barrett really is. That’s what this vacation is about, right? Finding out if we have a future together. A chance to see how he does with us. There’s always the possibility we scare him away, but I don’t see that happening.

“He looks similar to me when I was his age. But I see a lot of you in him too.”

“Hmm,” I muse. We have under a week left in paradise. I’m so happy we did this. Barrett and I have learned so much about each other. Arthur has become even more enamored with him. This vacation was more essential to us than I realized.

He clears his throat and pulls me into his lap. “I want to be more involved in his life. In your life. I’ve missed out on so much. I know how I feel about you. And about Arthur. I get that there’s a lot of trust still being built, but you should know my intentions. I want to be a family, Raleigh… When you’re ready.”

I swallow. He’s so forthcoming, and I like that he leaves no room for miscommunication between us. If this is going to work, we need to be clear with each other.

“Which brings me to something else…”

Something serious.

“You said you wanted to be included in the decisions I make that involve you, granted this is a bit bigger than plane tickets, but… I want to retire.”

Whoa.I scramble off his lap and look at him.“You’re thinking of retirement? Is this because of us?”

He takes my hands in his and brushes his thumbs over the top of my palms. “It’s not the only reason, but it’s my favorite one.” He winks. “My thought was to finish up my contract for this season and retire next spring. You two are a part of my life now. I’m going to be thirty-nine this year, my days of playing hockey are numbered anyway. My body’s tired and I want to focus on us. Plus, I’ll be able to commit to more involvement with Camp Conway, maybe get into coaching. It’s important you and Arthur can depend on me, and for that to happen, I need to be home. I’m already not looking forward to traveling this season, but I think it’s best for all of us if I finish out my contract.”

There’s a long pause while I consider his words.

“Would you still retire if Arthur and I weren’t in the picture?”

“I don’t know. But if I didn’t retire now, I’d probably be retiring in the next few years because my body couldn’t keep up with the sport. I don’t want to retire because I’m too old to play, I want to retire because I have something better waiting for me.”

The things this man says and the way he says them... I love the idea of him being around for us and I’ve seen how animated he is when he mentions coaching—it would be a great opportunity to explore something he’s passionate about.

“Then…”—I thread my fingers with his—“I think you should retire.”

He searches my eyes and then nods. “Okay… I’ll make a call in the morning,” he states.

Just like that?“Well, wait—I mean, how do you feel? Now that you’ve made the decision, does it feel right?”

“It feels fucking fantastic.” A genuine smile splits his face. I trust he would tell me otherwise. He does about everything else.

“Then you made the right decision.” I kiss his cheek, and he turns to kiss my lips. He scoots behind me, bracketing my body between his massive thighs, this man is built like a tank. He brushes sand off his knee, and in my peripheral, I see him nod toward our son. Arthur is busily digging up the white beach, filling in the holes, and then shoveling new ones, repeating the whole process.

“What’s he doing?”

I shrug and call out to Arthur, “Hey, buddy! What are you looking for?”

“Pineapples!” he yells back.

Good grief.“Find any yet?”

“Not yet!”

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