Page 109 of In The Game

He’s observant as hell.

“Does she use her real smile more than her polite smile? Is she happy?”

“Sometimes.”

“Just sometimes?” I push the cereal around in my bowl.

“Yeah. We’re all happy sometimes. And we’re all sad sometimes too. Mom says there’s lots of feelings inside us and we have to listen for when they need to come out. Happy ones come out more than sad ones, but she says even the sad and angry ones need to get air every once and a while.”

He lifts another heaping spoonful of cereal into his wide-open mouth. He has a better grasp on emotions than most adults I know.

“You have a very smart mom.”

“Yeah, she’s the smartest. I love her.”

Shit, I think I might too.

Raleigh has done such an incredible job raising him. And she did it all on her own.But who takes care of her?

“Is your mom more happy than she is sad?”

“Yeah. But sometimes she stares at the air and gets this line between her eyes and has a serious face.” He jams his finger between his eyebrows and wrinkles his nose. “I ask her if she’s letting her sad feelings out, but she just says it’s her thinking face.”

I nod, it doesn’t surprise me, I’ve seen her stuck in her thoughts firsthand.

“She says I’m better at listening to my feelings than she is.”

He stuffs in another spoonful, and milk trickles from the corner of his mouth. I hand him a napkin from the dispenser and take a bite of my cereal.

“That’s hard for a lot of grown-ups.” She doesn’t know how badly I want to care for her. I want to be a safe space for Raleigh to feel however the fuck she wants. No more brave-face bullshit.

“Yeah.”

I sip the chocolate milk and sit back, placing both my palms on the table.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yes!”

“Between me and you, I like your mom a lot.”

He mirrors my posture and slaps his hands on the table like mine, then does his best impression of an eyeroll. “Everybody likes her.”I bet they do.

“Well, I really,reallylike her.”

He sits back and giggles. The giggles turn to laughter.

It’s contagious. “What’s so funny?”

“Do you want tokissher?” He teases.

I chuckle and shrug. “Do you think she’d let me?”

“I dunno, maybe. I’ve never seen her kiss anybody. But she might.” He taps his chin. “She paints her lips when you come over.”

I know that lipstick well, kid.

“You should ask her if you can kiss her, and if she says yes, then you’ll know.”

---