Page 22 of Office Heat

“I’m twenty-two years old. Not a kid anymore. I’m an adult, and this is who I have feelings for. Whether you like it or not.” I suck in a deep breath before I let out feelings that I haven’t ever spoken aloud before, or even admitted to myself. But it’s the truth and there’s no escaping that. “I love him, Dad. I’m sorry, I know that this will upset you, but I love him.”

Maybe the whole situation feels horrible, but there’s a definite freeing sensation from finally saying that aloud.

“You don’t even know what love is.” Dad shakes his head hard, refusing to accept this. “I’m not buying it.”

“Well, I don’t care what you think. I love him, and Finn and I would be together if it wasn’t for you and Mom.” Uh-oh, anger is getting the better of me. I can see a red mist covering my vision. “We would be together and happy if it wasn’t for you.”

“You think you and him are going to be happy?” He sneers. “You think Finn is going to actually want you to be more than just his young lover? His secret little bit on the side? He’s only fucking you to get another notch on his bedpost. Think about the cliché. The intern at his company, the neighbor’s daughter… the older, divorced man with a young kid?”

“It isn’t like that,” I try to reassure my dad, but I can hear the desperation in my voice. I sound like I’m trying to convince myself as much as him, but that isn’t the case. I really feel like IknowFinn, and I trust him. It’s deeper.

“It is…” Finn croaks beside me, reminding me that he’s still here, and hurt. Thankfully, not so hurt that he’s knocked out, which is a really good sign. “It is more than that. I love you too, Stella. I love you so much and I want to have a family with you.”

“You do?” I snap my eyes around to face him, taking my gaze away from my dad. “You want to be with me for real?”

He props up onto his elbows and grins at me. My heart instantly melts as I see how genuine he’s being with me. It’s written all over his face. “Ireallywant to be with you for real, Stella. I’ve been trying to convince myself of the reasons we shouldn’t be together, of which there are many, but I can’t stop my feelings. I want to be with you, I want to marry you, I want to have a family with you.” He takes my hands in his. “I want to live with you wherever you want to go, and have this little life.”

I can see it. I can feel it in my heart. Me and Finn in a cottage in the mountains somewhere, or in a small farmhouse in the countryside, I don’t know where, it doesn’t really matter. But for the first time since I saw that little blue cross on the pregnancy test, I can see it as something more than just a thing I should fear, a change from a future that I wasn’t planning to a real future including me and Finn. I can see us as a married couple with our child, whether we’re having a boy or a girl, and living an incredible life. My God, I want that. I want that so badly it hurts, and it really seems like Finn does as well.

“This is a fuckingjoke,” Dad cries out angrily. “This is a goddamn nightmare. I can’t believe this is happening. Do you even know what your mother is going to think of this? She’s going to be so hurt. So heartbroken. To have her first grandchild coming from such a messed up place… it’s going to kill her. You are going to kill her, Stella. Is that what you want to do?”

“Dad, don’t do this,” I say sadly as I get back on the downward spiral of the rollercoaster. There is so much happening today, some of it good, some of it terrible, and I can’t quite get my head wrapped around it. “Don’t say that. Don’t turn it to something horrible. I know this isn’t ideal in your mind. But I can’t help it. I can’t help who I fall in love with. You should be happy for me. You were just yelling at me because I’m going to have to raise this baby alone without any help, without any finances.”

“So, you’re going to stay with Finn for the money?” Dad raises a nasty eyebrow. Heknowsme better than that. This is him trying to get in Finn’s head, trying to make him think less of me. “Is that what this is about? That isn’t right.”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Erin jumps in from the doorway, being amazing and standing up for me right until the very end. “I reallydo think that there is a lot of love here, Mr. West. Don’t you see it between them as well?”

Dad stares at all three of us in turn, his cheeks heating up with every passing second. He can see that all three of us are against him and he doesn’t like it. Maybe it’s because he knows deep down that he’s wrong, but he doesn’t seem to have anything else to say. Instead, he shakes his head at all of us and storms out of Erin’s apartment, leaving us alone.

That isn’t exactly how I wanted that conversation to end. I don’t want to fall out with my father over this, but I suppose if I have to lose him and gain Finn, wanting to be in this with me, wanting to have a family with me. I really didn’t expect that. I thought he was going to be annoyed at me for being careless and not having my birth control sorted out, but he really does look happy. He seems to have tears in his eyes because he’s so over the moon about the idea of having a baby.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, my voice thick with emotion. “Sorry about my father punching you like that.”

“I don’t blame him,” Finn replies sadly. “I always knew that it would hurt him and it’d end up crazy. Of course, I didn’t think there would be a baby in the middle of it all, but you are absolutely full of surprises.”

He throws his arms around me and hugs me tightly. I feel all the love flowing through him and making me feel so much better. I’ve been so upset, so nervous, so freaked out about all of this, but Finn is making me feel so much happier. So much more joyous. Actually, this is good news, this is amazing. Having a baby is a blessing. We are lucky.

“Thank you, Erin,” I call over Finn’s shoulder, remembering my friend in all of this. “Thank you for everything.”

“Hey, don’t you thank me. You don’t need to do that,” she calls back, a little amused. “Just make sure you guys really do get married after that because your father is a scary dude and I don’t want to stand up against him for nothing.”

I pull back to look at Finn and waggle my eyebrows at him. “Well, you did say that you wanted to get married.”

“Yeah, I do want to get married,” Finn reassures me with a smile. “I wasn’t just saying that for something to say. I love you, Stella. I’ve been in love with you for a while. I’ve been tryingnotto be in love with you for obvious reasons.” He lets out a little laugh, and I try to join in, but I can’t seem to make any sound at all. “But I am in love with you, and I can’t wait to have a baby with you. Icannotwait. I want to marry you, I want you to be my wife. Do you want to be my wife?”

“Is that you asking me?” I shoot him a lopsided smile. “Is this a real proposal? Because I was not expecting that today.”

“Oh, it might not be the most romantic proposal in the world, but I don’t want to put it off any longer. I want you to be my fiancée, my wife. I want you to agree to be with me forever. I seriously want you with me for the rest of my life.”

I cry as I agree, but this time, it’s happy tears because everything that I thought was falling apart around me has been healed in one short moment. I should have trusted Finn with this information as soon as I found it out. I should have known that he would be just as perfect as he has always been. And now we’re going to get married and be together forever.

I don’t like losing anything for this to happen. I never wanted to lose my family, but hopefully, it doesn’t need to be forever. I have my fingers crossed that one day, we will be okay. Somehow. But for now, I can’t focus on the negativity surrounding me, not when I have so much to be happy about. Finn and I are really going to make it last…

19

FINN

Ismile to myself as I stare at the picture Stella has just sent me of herself out in the garden of the little countryside cottage where we have lived the last few months. Almost in the middle of nowhere, with the nearest neighbor a mile away, so we can have some peace and quiet while we get used to our brand-new life. Her belly has been growing a lot recently, our boy continually increasing in size it seems like every single day, which only makes us both more excited for what comes next.

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