Page 20 of Office Heat

“I think maybe you should just tell him.” Erin steps forward, reminding both of us that she’s still here. “He’s asking you to tell him, so I think you should.” I stare at her like she has lost her mind. I don’t have nearly enough time to come up with a suitable lie in this time period. What the hell is she trying to do to me? “You have a dad who cares. Talk to him. Just explain it to him.”

And that’s when it hits me. Of course. Erin doesn’t have that. Her father walked out on her when she was born and has never shown an ounce of caring since. She’s commented a lot on how lucky I am to have a dad who cares in our time being friends, and I can really see it now in her eyes. She’s jealous that I have the chance to be truthful and closer to my dad, who has made the effort to come all the way out here to find me and is probably only mad because he’s worried, and she doesn’t think I should waste it. As I see this through her eyes, I suppose I can understand a little bit, even if the idea does make me uncomfortable.

“Dad.” I rise to my feet because I think it will be better for us to be face to face while I finally let this out. As long as he can’t hear the epic way that my heart is hammering against my rib cage, everything will be fine. “There is something.”

“I knew it.” He looks visibly relieved as I start to open up. Maybe this will be okay, after all. I mean, like I said before, I am an adult who is totally capable of making her own decisions, even if they aren’t always the best. “Okay, so tell me.”

I suck in a breath before I speak, thinking about the moment this all came to light to me as I sat in a heap on my bathroom floorthis morning, learning all the ways in which my life is about to change forever. “Dad, I’m pregnant.”

He freezes. I can’t actually tell what the hell is going through my father’s mind as he looks at me. Or not so much at me, but right through me. I think he might have gone into shock because he’s very glazed over in every single way. But then, I was probably like that when I found out as well. Stunned and unable to accept it, even if I haven’t exactly been feeling myself recently and in the heat of the moment, protection isn’t exactly a priority for us. We haven’t been too careful.

I was in shock and I had all the signs pointing me in this direction, so I suppose I should forgive my father when he had no idea. He hasn’t even known about my having a boyfriend—or a fling, which I suppose would be the better label for us—and being sexually active until this very minute. What a way to find out. I hate myself for causing this. I didn’t want to hurt anyone with this news, which is why I ran. I thought an anonymous life in the city would be better.

“P–pregnant?” he stammers while looking at me like I’m a complete stranger to him. I despise that’s what I’ve become. “But how?” I don’t think he really wants that answer. “And with who…?” Oh, but that bit, maybe so.

But if my father doesn’t like the idea of my being pregnant, then he won’t want to know that the father is my boss, his friend, the older, divorced guy who lives next door to us. That won’t go down well. Even if it wasn’t just sex, but something much closer to love. On my end, at the very least. No, that might be the thing to kill him. I don’t needthaton top of this.

“I don’t think you want to know, Dad,” I try to answer diplomatically. “And it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s just me.”

Of course, this just sets him off yelling a lot more, but this time, I have nothing to answer him back.

17

FINN

Oh, my God.It’s Bill’s car. It’s Bill’s freaking car. He’s here, which means this apartment block is the place. I’ve been searching this fucking city for ages and this is the first clue that I’ve had of anything, which is good… in a way. I mean, I’m glad that I know where I’m going at last, that’s really something, but it also means that Bill has beaten me here and I will have to face him too.

But the fear that thought causes me doesn’t stop me from pulling up the car and getting the hell out of it. I’ve come too far to turn my back on Stella now, and the deeper this mess gets, the more it sucks me in, the more curious I am. Ineedto know what’s going on, and my body is already out of control, running across the street to go inside no matter what.

With desperation, I run my eyes over the names on the list outside the apartment building to try and work out which one I need to go for.T. Smith, H. Jones, E. Rogers…Luckily, there is only the one name beginning with E so I have to assume that’s the best place to start. With a bit of luck, this will be Erin and it will all be pretty straightforward. Although deep down, as I takethe stairs two at a time, I know that isn’t realistic. Something is happening here. I can’t shy away from it.

“This will be fine,” I whisper to myself as I run breathlessly. “This will be the answer that you need.”

I don’t feel like I’m about to get the answers that Iwantbut that’s another scenario entirely. I seriously can’t get too lost in the heartbreak here, particularly not in front of Bill. He’snotgoing to want to see that from me, is he? No way.

Shit. The nerves get the better of me as I reach the right door. I halt for a second, almost wondering if I should just take this as a sign that running away is the solution and leaving it well alone. Taking it as closure. But even if that would be the right thing to do, the rational thing to do, I already know that I need to go inside. I need to rip off the Band-Aid as quickly as I can.

So, with that thought in mind, I begin hammering on the door, trying to prepare myself for what I’m going to say. To be honest, I guess it’ll just be whatever comes flying out of my mouth at the speed of light. I can’t think straight enough to plan. By the time the door swings open and I find myself looking at a strange female face I have never seen before, I’m silent. Stunned to the core. I can’t seem to get any words out at all, which is even worse than saying the wrong thing. Nothing is worse.

“Oh, my God, are youhim?” the woman gasps as she runs her eyes all over me. “You must be. You’re Finn.”

I nod, relieved that I’m at least in the right place. “Yes, I’m Finn. Is Stella inside? Do you mind if I talk to her?”

“You might as well come and join the party as well,” Erin, at least I’m guessing that this is Erin, replies wryly. I know what shemeans by this. Bill is in this place as well, which means shit is really about to get real. “It’s a whole heap of fun.”

“Sorry. I know you probably don’t need this. I will try and get out of here as quickly as I can. I just want to talk.”

My words trail off as the yelling begins. Erin and I share a slightly fearful look. Bill is shouting now, and he sounds pissed off as all hell. I don’t think I have ever heard my neighbor shouting this much, and I can’t believe that he would ever shout at his daughter in this way. There must be something even worse than I was expecting going on. Now, I think I might be trembling with the sheer terror for what might be about to come. If he can shout like that at Stella, then he will kill me…

“Oh, God,” I mutter to Erin. “This is going to be bad, isn’t it? How long has this been going on?”

She offers me a one-shouldered shrug, not really committing herself to anything. That’s the moment it hits me that she already knows what’s going on. Stella will have already opened up to her and confessed. That’s probably why she isn’t really giving me much because she knows why Bill is so furious. She might even understand it. My heart pounds in my throat. I actually consider asking Erin what’s happening so I won’t be blindsided when I enter the lion’s den, but I stop myself at the very last moment. I figure this might be something that Stella wants me to hear straight from her mouth… or not at all, as the case might be. I mean, she did walk away from me without an explanation. She lied and said that she was ill, she walked away from the internship, so perhaps she doesn’t want to tell me anything at all. That’s something I will simply have to accept.

“Okay.” I nod and half smile at Erin. “I'd better go in there. Face what’s going on. See what it is.”

Yep, that’s sympathy in her eyes, I can see it screaming at me. Everything inside me that was already fearful and expecting the worst is now even more intense. Each step toward the room where all the screaming is going on feels like I’m walking to my death. I suppose it’s time to assume that he has found out about us and this is the problem at hand.

“I just don’t know what to think of you anymore, Stella,” Bill cries out, confirming my fears. “I just can’t believe that you would do this to us. Your mom and I have tried so hard to make things easier for you, to make it work, and you’re doingthis.”

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