Page 86 of Papers Don't Lie

Because now that I can’t give her that, I nod even though I notice the moment her chest breaks in two, revealing a deep hole that can never be filled back. I can’t take her virginity when I have no intention of making love to her. I want to set myself free and breathe because something is grabbing my neck so strongly that I might pass out if I let my brain think.

I lean on the bed a bit, grasping her hair forcefully and making her stand between my legs on her knees. She gasps in surprise, tears filling her beautiful eyes from how hard I’m grabbing her. Esmeray watches my hard cock slapping her face once with an innocence that I can’t wait to destroy.

“Suck," I demand, guiding her head to the tip of my dick. She licks it once, humming with pleasure before taking half of it.

It’s not enough, even though my head throws itself back, my blood purring happily at the thrill rushing through it. So I fist her hair into a ponytail and push her until she gags on my cock, saliva flooding out of her mouth. Esmeray looks up at me, tears cascading down her cheeks as she blinks repeatedly.

I close my eyes, forgetting where I am and knowing that my only purpose is to come. The orgasm is getting closer with each pump of my dick inside her mouth.

“God, Ray. If your pussy is as tight as your mouth, you’ll be the end of me," I say, and an image of fucking her on her back roams through my mind, triggering my orgasm.

My eyes open, wanting to soak in every second of the look on her face when she tastes my sperm on her tongue and throat. She gags a few times but swallows it all with no complaint. My knees shake when she sucks the last drop before she pops it out of her mouth, and I reach to wipe some of the white liquid that she missed, pushing it back into her mouth.

Esmeray moans, her eyes rolling in her head when she circles her tongue on the finger I pushed inside.

As soon as the moment ends, a cold shiver runs down my spine, and everything doesn’t seem as good as when I was inside her mouth. Realization quickly sets in when she gets on her feet, rising on her legs before she disappears into the bathroom.

I stretch my hand to her, half of what I want to say getting out of my mouth until she closes the door after her. “I’m… sorry.”

FORTY-SEVEN

ESMERAY

I’m sorryare the words I fall asleep hearing over and over as Kai tucks me in his arms under the blanket, his tears cascading down my shoulder with thousands of apologies whispered in my ear.

I’m sorryare the words my mind keeps replaying when I wake up like a clock at five a.m. and walk downstairs to make him breakfast to show him that even if he hurt me, I’m right by his side.

I’m sorryare the words that follow me when I walk into the garden, the cold morning air sweeping underneath my pajamas and drying the tears on my cheeks.

My arms are crossed over my chest, and I stare at the rising sun, closing my eyes as I enjoy its rays caressing my face. I take a deep breath, forcing myself to be unaffected and uncaring.

I couldn’t refuse him, not when it was the first and only thing he asked me to do. But it hurt. Not that I satisfied him and gave him his release, but because of the look he had in his eyes, the way his mind was far away and never present. For him, I wasn’t even there. I didn’t exist, and if I did, the only thing I was meant to do was to please him and nothing more.

He made me feel like I was an impostor witnessing a moment I shouldn’t. Like I was stepping on someone’s privacy who didn’twant me there. Even if he was right next to me, I felt alone. So alone.

Then I remind myself that he was hurt, and he never meant to hurt me. He was so destroyed that he couldn’t see what he was doing to me, and at that moment, he didn’t care either.

Kai’s right. It’s not my father who died, it was his, and if this is how he wants to grieve, I can either step away and watch him break apart or be there for him in any form that he wants me.

I’m his wife. It’s my duty to stand by his side. Through good and bad.

Yesterday he called me "my love." I didn’t know how to react because of his state, and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it either. But I liked the nickname, and I still do. It’s the closest thing to love.

My phone rings in my loose pocket, and I wipe the tears on my face with a swipe of my palms, blinking a few times to regain control of myself. I take it out and notice the unknown number calling. At first, I’m hesitant to answer, but then I think one of his brothers is calling me and I pick it up.

“Hello?”

“How I’ve missed your voice, my precious.” I freeze as soon as his voice comes out through the speaker. “Now, be a smart girl, and if someone’s around you, act like you’re talking to someone else.”

I gulp, glancing at my surroundings, and besides the housekeeper watering the flowers, there’s no one here. My lips offer her a smile, and she returns it before going back to her job.

“Lacey Graves and Cielle Hamilton are both in Costa Rica. What a coincidence." He laughs, and my skin prickles. “I’ve been meaning to ask, but I was a little shy to do it. Will you come with me, my precious?”

What do Lacey and Cielle have to do with this? He jumped from one subject to another like the crazy psychopath he is.

My teeth grit. “The only way you’ll take me out of his house is dead.”

The housekeeper’s head snaps to me, her brows furrowed together. I give her another smile and walk further away as Carter’s laugh vibrates through the phone.

---