Page 83 of Papers Don't Lie

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” I hear from the speaker but ignore it. It’s too late. “Hello?”

“Kai?" I hear my wife at the doorstep, but my head refuses to move, hanging on my dad’s leg. “Oh my God,” she whispers in horror, her voice shaking.

Dad.

What a usual word when you use it every day without actually understanding the meaning of it. Dad. My dad is the person who stood next to us no matter what life threw in front of us. He’s the one who taught me how to fish, how to take care of my brothers, and how to be a good man because he was one. He was the purest soul this earth has ever known. Since his disease gotworse and he had to retire from work, all the money he had, he spent it on charity.

I remember how I once told him he should spend money on himself until he was back on his feet. He shook his head at me, but not like he was mad I didn’t understand, but because it was a lesson that needed to be learned.

“Money can’t solve my problem, son. But if I have it, I can at least offer it to someone whose solution to a problem is money,” he had said, patting me on the back.

“What happened?” An angel-like figure appears in front of me, raising my chin with a finger. She looks for my eyes, but I think they are lost.

What does she mean by what happened?

My body turns rigid.

My father died.

For a second, I’m thrown back in time, and I can feel his smell, the looks of his smile, and the way his gray hair was arranged so slick you’d say he’s younger than he seems.

But the reality is another thing.

My father died because of me.

FORTY-FIVE

ESMERAY

“Talk to me,” I beg, my palms clutching his shoulders as Kai arranges the darkest black suit he owns on his body, his eyes looking through the mirror in front of him.

He still doesn’t say anything. Just like he didn’t say anything after he left his father’s room, when I fell asleep in his office while he was drinking himself to death, or when I begged him to eat something as I was feeding him with the fork. I can’t imagine how losing your parent feels, and I don’t want him to think I’m putting myself into his place when I don’t have any right to. I just want him to know I’m here for him no matter what.

Kai turns around and walks past me, then sits down on the edge of the bed to put his shoes on. Even though his father passed yesterday, he looks like he hadn’t slept in ages, the bags under his eyes violet and lowered as low as his cheeks.

He just styled his hair because ten minutes ago, it seemed like it was never washed. If he looks this broken on the outside, I don’t want to know how he looks deep down.

I walk to him, my long black dress touching my toes and circling around me. “Please,” I whisper, my voice cracking.

He hasn’t said a word since and hasn’t even once looked me in the eye. The only thing he does is stare at the groundand avoid me as much as possible. I did my best to give him space in case he needed it, but with every hour passing, he was transforming into a man I didn’t recognize. His eyes were getting angrier, his jaw sharper, and his soul walked further away with each second I kept my distance with my heart but stood close with my presence.

If he continues like this, nothing will save him from himself.

At the sound of my voice, he flinches a bit, but that’s the only reaction I get from him. He wants to get up, but I stop him with my hands, placing them over his cheeks and forcing him to look me in the eye. Kai refuses, glancing at the wall. I put my face in front of him, giving Kai no other choice, but his eyes still slip lower, not wanting to see me.

Please scream, please throw something, but don’t lock yourself in.

“Kai, I’m begging you. Don’t walk away from me like this,” I murmur, caressing his face as tears pool in my eyes. “Why can’t you look at me?” I shiver in fear, my forehead dropping to his.

His palms wrap around my wrists, taking them away from touching his body. He stands up, towering over me with his height. A part of me regrets asking for the reason he can’t look me in the eyes because now that he does, it makes my knees weak in the worst way possible. I want to erase this from my memory.

“Stop touching me. Stop poking your nose around. Stop talking to me. Stop,” Kai says in a harsh voice, and I suck in a breath, afraid that if I let any air out, he’ll tell me to stop breathing as well. “I can’t look at you when you’re a reminder of my father’s death.”

My arms drop next to my body, and the tears that were prisoners in the corners of my eyes break free, washing over my cheeks with no intention of stopping. The temperature inmy body goes lower than it has ever been, turning me into a mountain of ice as my mind registers his words.

A reminder of his father’s death? What does that mean?

He walks away with a furious sigh, opening the door roughly enough to rip it off its hinges. I whirl on my toes, a cold breath escaping my lips as I look at the back of the man I once knew. Or so I thought.

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