Page 42 of Papers Don't Lie

“Because I didn’t have a choice.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Yesterday, you became my wife whether you like it or not. You wanted freedom; you have it." He raises his arms in the air, pointing at what’s around us. “As far as I know, I’m not keeping you locked in your house, away from your family, and I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do. What do you want me to do, Esmeray? Tell me, and I’ll do it.” His tone raises a few octaves, mirroring just how badly I hurt him.

My stomach twists at the look on his face, and there’s no one to blame besides myself. I brought him to this state with what I said, which wassowrong. He didn’t deserve what I said after everything he did for me. It’s not right.

“I’m sorry, Kai. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just angry at myself that I dragged you into this when you could’ve escaped if you stayed away," I murmur, remorse settling onto my chest.

It’s the truth. He could’ve been free, with no wife bugging him, no wedding he didn’t want, nothing. He could’ve continued sleeping with anyone he wanted, without a burden to carry. Even the ring on his finger will remind him how trapped he is.

His lips twitch. "Trust me when I say that if I could’ve, I would’ve stayed away from you,” Kai says, but not like a love declaration. His tone is acid, full of blame, and something I would rather have not seen… honesty. “It would’ve made my life a lot easier.”

Kai’s words sting, but I try to dim the pain carving in my chest by forcing myself to believe that he told me everything he did only because he’s hurt. And even if he means everything he said, I can’t blame him.

My shoulders slump in defeat. “I said I’m sorry, Kai.”

Kai nods and walks towards his room, and for some reason, seeing him walk away like this breaks my heart. I don’t like him going, knowing he’s mad at me. That’s not how I want it to be.

At the last moment, he turns to me. His black hair is ravished, matching the storm in his green eyes.

“I might have my own secrets, my own thoughts torturing me at night that are only mine for now, but that doesn’t mean I’m also hiding my true self from you.” I open my mouth to reply, but he opens the door. “Goodnight, Esmeray.”

With those last words, he leaves like there’s fire about to catch him, as if any other second with me in the same roomas him is torture. He has every right to be that way after he sacrificed his life and I’m acting like an ungrateful child.

Lashing out at him that way was wrong. When he told me the only way Carter found me was through him, I realized that if he had listened, he would be free now.

Now that I think about it, I don’t even know if that’s true. With or without Kai, Carter still has a security company, and he’s still very good at what he does. Sure, hiring one of his teams made it a lot easier for him to find me, but there’s a part of me that knows he would’ve gotten to me anyway.

I look around and search through his nightstands for a few minutes before I get what I need. On the paper I rip from the end of a notebook, I writeI’m sorryand add a terrible sad face.

My breath is caught in my throat as I step towards his door and fold the paper until it fits in the space between the door and the floor. Once it’s on the other side, I wait to hear his steps, but they never come.

After ten minutes with my ear glued on the door, I hear his shower starting.

Thinking it’s a stupid thing to do, I push my finger into the small place and struggle for a few seconds before I catch the paper. It’s better that he didn’t see it. Sending him a note is definitely childish.

I get the paper out and stop breathing when I notice it’s unfolded.

TWENTY-THREE

KAI

Hi,” she greets me when she finally walks into the hallway the next day, dressed in the stunning black strapless dress I chose for her. She glances down at her stilettos, offering me a glimpse of the bow she has on.

At the sight of her, all the fury that has lurked inside me since last night disappears.

It was wrong of me to take my anger and years of frustration out on her. Just like everyone else in my life, she doesn’t know about my SCS—savior complex syndrome—and how hard is to live with it or how much I try to fight it.

By the time she told me the only way she could get rid of Carter was by marrying someone else, I was already desperate to find a solution and didn’t think twice before going through with it. It’s natural after weeks of not sleeping and vomiting everything I eat. At that point, I didn’t care about how marrying her would affect my life—because not helping her turned me into a vegetable anyway—and the only thing I cared about was silence and a good night's rest. It’s only so much that a person resists without sleeping.

“I didn’t think you’d wear it,” she says after a few seconds of excruciating silence and points at my suit. “After last night.”

When I woke up, one of our housekeepers Tarina knocked on my door and told me my wife had prepared an outfit for me. She thought it was sweet considering I did the same, including the diamond necklace she can’t stop touching in the wait for my reply.

I made sure to inform my housekeepers and Dad that we’re sleeping in separate beds until our wedding celebration so our distance didn’t raise any questions.

We’ll have to share a bed in less than a month, so it’s not like we can avoid it forever.

“Why wouldn’t I wear it, Esmeray?” I ask, placing my hands in my pockets.

---