Page 70 of Paved in Fire

She shakes her head as much as she can with my hand still cradling her cheek and her other one pressed against my bare chest.

“It is. You screamed tonight.”

“What?” Her brow furrows, but she keeps petting Finn’s head, waiting for me to explain.

“You screamed, baby. It’s the first time you’ve done that. You always scream silently during a night terror. Your mouth opens, and I can see the way your throat tenses, and I know you’re screaming like hell in your head, but no sound ever comes out, but not tonight.” I caress her cheek and smile down at her. “You screamed,malishka. You found your voice this time, and you let it out. Things are getting better, but he’s not going to disappear all at once. He’ll come back sometimes, and I will be here when he does.”

I lean closer and kiss her forehead. “I willalwaysbe here.”

Finn gives a soft whimper, and I swear it’s like he’s telling her that he’ll be here for her, too.

“Good boy,” she whispers, rubbing his head while I continue torock her. After a few minutes, she breaks the silence. “I have such bad thoughts, Matvey.”

I stroke her cheek before running my thumb over her bottom lip. “Like what?”

“I think about killing them,” she admits. “Do you remember at the club when you held me and shot all those men?”

I think about that night, the rage that was inside me and how fucking good it had felt to hold her close while ending their lives. “Vividly,malishka.”

“I wish I had been holding the gun,” she whispers like she’s telling me a dark secret she’s ashamed of, and I hate that she’s feeling guilt over this.

“Look at me.” I run my thumb over her lips again, waiting for her to meet my eyes. When she does, I smile down at her. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Alina. I think it would be odd if you didn’t fantasize about killing all the bastards who are involved in this shit. Do you think I feel guilt over killing them?”

“No,” she whispers.

“No,” I agree, “and I never will. Killing them made me feel better. I knew it would never erase your pain, but I felt better knowing that at least some of them were paying for it.”

“I’m jealous. I wish I could’ve been the one to do it.”

I think about what she’s saying, and right now, holding her after a nightmare, it makes perfect sense. She needs to be in a position of control. She’s been the victim, she’s been the abused, and now she needs to be the one with the power, and before I can think better of it, I kiss her forehead and say, “I want you to come with me to the auction.”

Chapter 13

Alina

Ican’t stop thinking about what Matvey said last night. He seemed just as surprised at saying it as I was at hearing it, and I’ve been waiting for him to say it was a mistake, that he’s changed his mind and there’s no way in hell I’m going tonight, but so far he hasn’t taken it back. If anything, he seems more determined than ever to see this through.

Sitting on the bed with Finn, I pet his soft fur and watch Matvey get ready for tonight. He pulls on a pair of jeans and a black, long-sleeve tee. With those broad shoulders and all that muscle, Matvey looks deadly enough, but then he starts grabbing his weapons, and all I can do is stare as the man I love transforms into a one-man army. Knives are sheathed, guns are tucked away in an ankle holster that’s hidden beneath his jeans and another at the small of his back, and finally he pulls on a black hoodie that hides it all.

I’m still watching him when he goes back into the closet and comes out holding some clothes for me. He holds out the black yoga pants and matching black thermal top.

“I’m sensing a theme here,” I tell him.

“Yes, it’s atry to remain invisibletheme, and for you it’s also astay glued to Matvey’s asstheme.”

I laugh and scoot off the bed, giving his perfect, firm ass a smack when I’m next to him. “I can get behind a theme like that.”

He laughs and sits on the edge of the bed. It’s his turn to watch me while I change clothes, and he makes no attempt to hide what he’s doing. His eyes run over me, taking in every inch until I’m standing in front of him in a head-to-toe, form-fitting outfit.

“You look like the sexiest cat burglar I’ve ever seen, but there’s just one thing missing.”

“What’s that?”

“This.” He holds up a black mask with cutouts for the eyes and mouth.

“A ski mask? Seriously?”

“Yes. If we’re doing this, then you’re going to have to face a lot of men, and they don’t get to look at you. I don’t care if the only glimpse of you they’re going to get is the two seconds before you put a bullet in their head. That’s two seconds too long.”

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