Page 55 of Paved in Fire

“Anything,” she whispers against my chest.

“If things ever get that bad for you again, promise me you’ll talk to me. Promise me you won’t ever hurt yourself again.” I run a finger along her bandage. “Seeing you bleed does something to me, and I can’t stand to ever see it again.”

She kisses her name on my chest. “I promise I won’t hurt myself again.” She traces a finger along my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake, and when I feel myself start to grow hard, I groan and scoot her over a bit so she won’t be bothered by it.

“Sorry, just ignore it.”

“What if I don’t want to ignore it?”

She trails her fingers lower, lightly running them over my abs, and when she gets to the jeans I’m still wearing, I grab her hand to stop her.

“Alina, what are you doing?”

“Why can’t I make you feel good?”

“You already make me feel good.”

She lifts her head, and I can’t help but smile. Her dark hair is messy from sleep, and her blue-green eyes look even more vivid in the sunlight. She’s so goddamn beautiful, and every part of her is so familiar to me. I know her better than anyone, yet she still manages to take my breath away every time I look at her. I run my finger down her cheek, and when she tries to slide her hand in my pants again, I smile and tap the tip of her nose.

Reaching down, I grab her hand, squeezing it gently in mine. “I love it when you touch me, baby, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to lay here and let you jerk me off.”

“Why not?”

Letting out a disbelieving laugh, I lift up onto my forearm and angle my body over hers. Taking her injured arm, I raise a brow at her.

“You’re hurt.”

“I wasn’t going to use that hand,” she starts to argue, but I stop her words with my own.

“You’re in pain, you were hurt badly last night, and you’re doing it out of guilt, and I don’t ever want you to feel like that while you’re touching me.”

“It’s not guilt.” Her beautiful eyes can’t meet mine while she says it, though.

“You feel guilty because I’m hard. You think because I’m aroused you owe it to me or some crazy shit like that, like I have to come or I’m going to be disappointed.” I lean closer and kiss her cheek. “Or maybe you’re afraid that I didn’t mean it when I said I’d wait forever for you.”

“Matvey,” she whispers, letting out another sigh. “I just want to make you feel good. Can’t I at least do that?”

“You always make me feel good, but you don’t know me at all if you think I’m the kind of man who could lay here and let you give me a hand job after everything that’s happened.”

She tries to turn her head from me, embarrassment coloring her cheeks, but I cup her face and force her to look at me. Running my thumb over her flushed skin, I kiss her lips and whisper, “If anyone’s going to be coming, it’s going to be you, but we’re not there yet,malishka. First, I want you resting and healing, and then when I’m satisfied you’re ready for the next step, I have an idea.”

Her eyes widen slightly at my words. “What idea?”

I grin and wink at her. “Rest up and find out.”

She laughs and rolls her eyes at me, but for the next three days, I show her exactly how serious I’m taking her recovery. Mandatory naps, painkillers when I think she needs one, and enough calories in her diet to satisfy me. I check her stitches several times a day, making sure there isn’t any sign of infection, and her latest appointment with Dr. Taylor seems to have gone well. She’s still having night terrors, but it’s no longer every night, whether that’s from the strong painkillers or the fact that Konstantin is slowly losing his grip on her, I’m still not sure. I’m hoping it’s the latter, though.

When my phone buzzes with my daily update from Timofey, I grab it and read the quick text while Alina watches me.

Still alive.

That’s all I need to know, so I set the phone aside. Part of me wants to give the order to shoot them and be done with it, but a bigger part of me isn’t quite ready to say goodbye. They haven’t earned death yet. They haven’t suffered enough.

“You can leave if you need to, Matvey.”

I look over at where she’s curled up in a chair, reading one of the books from the shelf in the corner.

“There’s nowhere else I need to be.”

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