Page 69 of Paved in Fire

After we’re sure everything is in place and ready for tomorrow, I go and find Alina. They’re sitting in the room that will soon be transformed into what I’m guessing will be a nursery fit for a princess by the time these five are done with it. Alina looks up, and when she sees me leaning against the doorway watching her, a smile spreads across her face before she jumps up and walks over to me.

“Having fun?”

“Yeah, Katya’s sketches are amazing. It’s going to look really cute when she’s done with it.”

Grabbing my hand, she pulls me over so she can show me everything, and as great as it all looks, it’s Alina’s smiling face that’s really captured my attention. I pull her towards me and brush a strand of her dark hair back before lowering down and kissing her gently. My thumb caresses her jaw, and I feel her smile against my lips as she wraps me in a tight hug. When I pull back, I laugh when I see four sets of eyes on us. They’re making no attempt at being discreet, and when Emily starts laughing, the others join in.

“Sorry,” Simona says. “This is just taking some getting used to.”

“It’s just so odd to see you like this,” Emily adds and then quickly says, “in a good way!”

I step behind Alina and wrap my arms around her, pulling her against me.

Alina reaches up to grab onto the forearm I have resting on her upper chest. “To see him like what?”

“God, where to begin?” Emily says like she’s pondering the question before she starts holding up her fingers as she ticks off various things that she’s never seen me do before. “He’s smiling and laughing and looking happy and touching someone and letting someone touch him.”

“He’s also not spending hours in the gym every day, punching the bag like a man obsessed,” Jolene adds.

Katya looks me over. “He’s happy, like genuinely happy, and I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“I haven’t either,” Simona agrees. “It’s the first time we’ve ever seen him give a full smile.”

“You realize I’m still standing here, right?” I ask them.

“It’s true, though,” Emily says, continuing to talk over me with a grin. “He was a very different man a few weeks ago, and we’re all thrilled to see him so happy.” This time she looks up at me when she says, “We’re all really happy for you both.”

Alina tilts her head back to look at me, a grin playing at her lips because she knows how much I hate attention, but it’s worth it if it makes her look at me like the way she is right now. Seeing her like this makes me think that maybe the worst is behind us. She’s so carefree and full of hope, and when she reaches down to pet Finn, I let myself believe that the old Alina really is back, thatmyAlina is back, but I realize I was a little too optimistic when later on that night, her screams wake me from a deep sleep.

I’m so groggy that it takes me a second to notice the difference. Instead of her usual shaking body and a mouth open in silent horror and fear, it’s loud, piercing screams mixed with Finn’s whining as he licks and nuzzles her face, trying to get her to wake up.

“Alina, baby,” I yell, scooping her into my arms and cradling her face against my chest. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Finn is so upset that he whines and licks her hand until her screams stop and turn into a painful sob that breaks my damn heart.

“I thought it was over.” Her words are muffled by her sobs, but I hear every word like it’s another scream.

“Is everything okay?”

I hear Danil’s worried voice yelling through the door, no doubt seconds away from breaking it down.

“It’s fine,” I yell back. “Just a nightmare.”

I turn my attention back to Alina, who’s still shaking in my arms. She’d looked so damn happy earlier, so much like her old self, and now she’s gasping for air, sobbing so hard she can’t catch a breath.

“Breathe,malishka.I need you to breathe for me.”

Cradling her head against my chest, I stroke her cheek and keep herin my lap, slowly rocking her in our bed. Her face is pressed against my chest, letting her feel each breath I take, and soon I feel her start to copy me.

“That’s it, baby. Good girl. Just keep breathing.”

Finn scoots closer and noses his way under her arm so his head is resting on her stomach. She reaches a hand down and slowly strokes the dog’s head, and after a few minutes, I feel her body start to relax. I keep caressing her cheek with the pad of my thumb, grounding her in every way that I can.

When she’s calmed down enough to speak, she looks up at me with wide, scared eyes. Tears still fall down her cheeks, and her voice is still shaky when she says, “I thought it was over. I thought I was finally becoming free of him, but he’s still here, Matvey.” She starts crying harder again, and the sounds of her pain rip my fucking heart out. “He’s still here.”

“Alina, it is getting better, baby.”

“It’s not.”

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