Page 14 of Paved in Fire

Her body tenses, growing agitated while I kick myself for making her even more upset. I know she’s confused and hurt and scared and overwhelmed by everything, and all I want is to take it all away. “We have plenty of time to explain everything.” I kiss her forehead. “It’s time to go home, Alina.”

I’ve waited so fucking long to say those words to her, and when I tighten my arms around her and get in the backseat, keeping her on my lap, she doesn’t try to move away. The truth is I’m not sure I’m ever going to be able to let her out of my arms again.

Chapter 3

Alina

Matvey’s arms tighten around me, holding me closer and making me feel safe for the first time since I was taken. Having him so close is a torment and a blessing. My head is reeling with everything that’s happened, and I don’t know how to sort through it all. I want to stay right where I’m at with my head resting on his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling safe in his arms, but another part of me wants to scramble off his lap and curl into a ball on the floor by his feet, because mixed with Matvey’s scent is the lingering smell of Konstantin—a spicy sandalwood scent that always triggers my gag reflex and makes my heart start racing when I smell it. My fingers itch to claw at my skin, wanting to rid myself of his touch, of his smell, and of all the fucking memories that are ingrained on my body.

“It’s okay,malishka,” Matvey murmurs in my ear when he feels me start to shake again. “You’re safe now.”

I nod my head, but even though my body is safe now, my mind isn’t, and I’m scared it won’t ever be again. Matvey rubs my back while Vitaly drives us to a home I’ve never been to and a thousand worries rush through my mind. I keep thinking about Roman, worried that Ifound my brother only to lose him again. He jumped in front of that gun, taking the bullet that was meant for me and Matvey without a second thought, and it’s exactly the kind of thing he would do. Roman’s always looked out for me. He was the one who woke up early to make sure I was ready for school on time, and he’s the one who always made sure I had something to eat, even if it meant he went without. He’s always taken care of me, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Matvey feels the tears on his neck before he kisses my cheek and cups the back of my head. I’m not at all surprised when he whispers, “Roman’s going to be fine, baby. Lev and Danil will let us know as soon as he’s out of surgery.”

“What if he doesn’t make it?” My voice cracks at the thought, and I have to push the thought aside or I’ll completely lose it.

“He will. I promise you, Alina, he’s going to be fine. No way in hell is he going to give up now, not when he’s just found you and his wife is about to give birth. He has a lot to live for, and you know his stubborn ass isn’t going to just give up.”

The corner of my mouth lifts at the idea of my big brother giving up on anything. “He is stubborn,” I admit.

“Fuck yes he is,” Vitaly says from up front, not sounding even slightly embarrassed about listening in. “Remember that time when we were twelve and he made us stay up all fucking night to finish playing Monopoly because he was convinced he could win?”

I feel Matvey’s deep laugh vibrate against my chest while I finish the story we all know so well. “But then he felt bad about how excited I was, so he lost on purpose and let me win.”

“And then Lev introduced you to those goddamn racing games, and you’ve been winning ever since,” Vitaly says.

“It’s been a long time since I played. I doubt I’m still any good.”

Matvey kisses my forehead. “We’ll have to find out when you feel up to it.”

A few minutes later, Vitaly pulls into a parking garage beneath a huge building that’s lit up right in the heart of the city. He pulls into areserved space between a black Camaro and a black Porsche, and I suddenly start to feel nervous again.

Before we get out, Vitaly sends a text to Lev for an update, and when he gets a response, he looks back at us. “He’s still in surgery, but the doctor sent someone out to tell them everything looks good and he should be done soon.” Vitaly sighs and gives a soft laugh. “Thank fuck. Now I just need to go in there and convey all this to Emily without her going into early labor. That’s not going to be easy. You know how dramatic she can be.”

Matvey smiles and shakes his head. “Yeah,she’sthe dramatic one.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re trying to say, brother,” Vitaly says, getting out and shutting the door before Matvey can answer.

I watch him walk to the private elevator before disappearing inside. “He’s still exactly the same.”

“He is in many ways,” Matvey agrees, making no move to open the door. Threading his fingers through my hair, he cups the back of my head and hugs me. That’s all he does. He just hugs me, holding me against him until I feel my body start to relax again.

“There are so many things I want to say to you,” he whispers, and the sound of his voice has me tearing up again. I’ve missed it so damn much, the raspy sound that’s so unique to him and so fucking familiar to me. “But I know that it’s too much to get into right now and that you’re exhausted. I don’t want to push you or overwhelm you, but I need you to know that I never once stopped looking for you. Ever since the day you went missing, I’ve thought of nothing else except finding you, and I’m so fucking sorry,malishka.”

His voice cracks, and I immediately tighten my arms around him. “It’s not your fault.”

“I was late, and I wasn’t there when you needed me, and I’ll never forgive myself for it.”

“It’s not your fault,” I repeat. The pain in his voice is like a knife to my chest, and it breaks what’s left of my heart. When I start to cry again, he rubs my back and kisses my forehead.

“Please don’t worry about trying to make me feel better. God, baby,that’s the last thing I want you thinking about. You don’t need to worry about anything ever again, because I’m going to take care of you, Alina. For the rest of my fucking life, I’m going to love you and take care of you.”

I nod because I’m crying too hard to speak, and when he opens the door, he keeps me in his arms as he gets out. We’re almost to the elevator when it opens and a very pregnant woman comes rushing out followed by Vitaly and Katya. She sees me and brings her hand to her mouth. She’s crying and looks scared to death when she reaches out and squeezes my arm.

“I’m so glad you’re safe, Alina, and I promise we’ll talk later, but I have to see Roman. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I quickly tell her, knowing this must be my sister-in-law. I can’t believe my brother is married and about to be a daddy. I’ve missed so goddamn much.

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