Page 9 of Not Bad for a Girl

Awesome. “Sure,” I said, “thanks.” We walked for a few minutes before Jason broke the silence.

“You may not have noticed, Indiana, but I’m Black,” he said.

“What?” I cried. “Are you really? I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t pointed it out. Thank you.”

This time he laughed a genuine laugh that made me smile despite myself.

“What I mean is, things aren’t easy for me in the office either.”

I paused. “That must be true,” I said, “but it doesn’t seem that way.”

“It’s not all that different from what you were saying back at the bar the other night.”

“You heard us talking?”

“Some of it. I mean, you’re a woman and I’m a man—” he began.

“Jason,” I said, stopping and facing him. “I’m so lucky you’re here to point these things out.”

He grinned at me again, a genuine, almost vulnerable smile, and I decided then that he might not be as insufferable as I’d originally thought.

“It’s not just women who have to smile,” he said. “It’s also Black men. In a culture that sees me as threatening, it takes a lot of effort to shake that stereotype. I take my cues from the person I’m talking to and mirror backtheir values, even if I don’t share them. I didn’t climb the ladder because my dad has a membership at the country club. It’s work.”

“I get it. But doesn’t it make you feel, I don’t know, inauthentic?” I asked, mulling over his words.

“Is anything about work authentic? Does the best employee get the promotion?”

“No,” I admitted. “They get transferred. But even if you and I say the same thing at the meeting, they don’t respond the same way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he said. “Wedidn’tsay the same thing. You spoke upduringan all-team meeting and questioned the MD’s leadership. And you did it looking likethat.”

I opened my mouth, but he held up his hand. “Not that you don’t look professional, it’s just hard to take someone seriously when they’re small and cute like you are.”

“And female,” I added. My cheeks colored, but the darkening sky hid it. “And you went to him, like dude to dude, afterward, and it worked.”

“Yeah. I praised his idea, then told him how I thought it could be even better. Compliment sandwich.”

“That’s hard for me,” I admitted. “I have no filter. If I think it, I feel compelled to say it.”

He abruptly stopped walking. “Indiana, thank you for this insight into your character. I now see I also need your guidance to understand the obvious.”

I snorted. “Sorry. Also, my friends call me ‘Ana.’”

“Is that an informative statement, or can I call you that, too?”

“You can be insufferable. But yeah, call me ‘Ana.’”

“If you’re a golf-playing frat boy, then you can say whatever you want. But that’s not you.”

I thought for a moment, weighing out how much to tell him. “At the new job, they think I’m a guy.”

“What? How’dthathappen?” He stopped cold and stared at me. “One look—”

“Remote team, remember? No cameras and a weird first name.”

“Interesting. Has it changed how you’ve been treated?”

“Not sure,” I said. “I corrected the boss—”

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