Page 4 of Not Bad for a Girl

“Son of Jay,” he said, straight-faced.

“Oh.” I rolled my eyes. “Ana of Indy then.”

Wide-eyed, Patrick sipped his drink, looking back and forth between us, as Heidi put her arm around me. “I think she’s had a bad enough day, Jason. Maybe take off?”

He shrugged. “Just wanted to let you all know that after the meeting, I explained to Mr. Grass about how people need an incentive to work hard. Taking away promotions and bonuses lowers morale. He said that I made a good point, and he’d give it some more thought.”

“That’s what I said!” I burst out. “Are you serious?”

“I guess it’s just the way you said it,” he said. “Or maybe this whole”—he gestured at me vaguely—“impression doesn’t inspire confidence with guys like him,” he said. “But don’t worry, I told Gerald it wasn’t worth firing you.”

“What?” I yelped. “He was for sure going to fire me?”

“Yeah, he was,” Jason said seriously. “You have to play the game, Indiana. But I didn’t know you were going to get transferred to Melvin Hammer’s team.” He whistled through his teeth. “That’s almost as bad.That division is hanging on by a thread. Melvin got promoted way past his ability, so this is make-or-break for him. He has to turn this assignment into something stellar, or he’s out. I guess it’s a last shot for both of you.” He drained his beer and set his bottle on the bar. “Good luck,” he said, then moved off into the darkening crowd.

God damn it. “Is he for real?” I asked Patrick and Heidi.

Heidi shrugged, and Patrick shook his head. “Ignore him. He’s just being difficult.What does he know about the New York team? Anyway, I think this whole new chapter will be good for you. It’s cool you’ll get to work from home,” Patrick said and smiled a bit unconvincingly.

“Nobody wants to work on that remote team,” I said again. “You heard Jason. Sounds like a sinking ship.”

“Every new place is a new opportunity. Maybe you can be the hero who saves the team. At least you’ll be one of those people who may or may not be dressed under your desk,” Heidi offered.

“I’m keeping my cameraoff,” I emphasized. “And my mouth shut. And you’re right, maybe this will be a good opportunity for me. I can learn to be chill.”

“Not sure that’s true,” Patrick threw in.

I really could learn, I promised myself. I would install a steel baby gate between my mind and mouth, and I would learn.

Chapter 2

The whole big mess started a week into my new job. I’d been learning the ropes quickly and had kept my camera off, saying it was broken, like an OG catfish, and corporate was supposed to be sending me a new computer so I could Zoom with everyone else during meetings. It hadn’t really been an issue because most people kept their cameras off anyway, and we were required to have them off during meetings when the boss presented, since all the extra bandwidth caused a lag in the presentation. We just used the chat feature on the side of the screen to share our input.

Everything seemed to be going well, but I couldn’t shake what Jason had said. This job didn’t have a future. And then there was that other thing he’d implied, that looking the way I do—feminine, short, a little like a cartoon character if I were being honest with myself—was the reason no one could take me seriously. Most of that I had absolutely no control over. Of course, I knew the technology field was male-dominated, but I’d never really considered that I mightneed to alter myself physically to counter that. I’d always just tried harder than everyone else. Valedictorian. Summa cum laude. Phi Beta Kappa. All the honors.

But when I’d gotten home from the bar after my going-away party, I’d removed all the pink items from my work wardrobe, along with anything that had a bow on it. No more flowers or rose gold or lace in my work accessories or my home office area. No more neon pens or sparkly notebooks. If I wanted to be taken seriously, I was coming to realize, there was more to it than simply being good at what I do. I had to put away the glitter and break out the mattes, so to speak.

This particular morning, I woke up thoroughly confused. I picked my head up from my desk and gasped at the pain in my back. There was a puddle of drool where my head had rested next to the mouse pad. Must have passed out while working on the database. I yawned and stretched and rubbed my eyes on the too-long sleeves of my fleece pajamas. I glanced over at my fish tank—a beautifully planted, but empty aquarium next to my desk—before my eyes focused on what I was really looking for: the coffee maker. I was desperate for caffeine. I started a cup, then ran to the bathroom, and sat back down at the desk to check my email. I must have slept only a few hours at most. That was one thing that truly sucked about working remotely—the day was never truly over, when my desk was in my living room/bedroom/kitchen studio apartment. I couldn’t afford a bigger place right now. My savings were running dry even in a studio.

I’d just taken my first sip of coffee when I pulled up the Outlook email tab and saw the message.

From: Melvin Hammer

To: Entire Team

Subject: New Reporting Tool

Team:

I have stressed the importance of providing functioning software to the client by the end of the month. You are nowhere near reaching that goal. I’ve attached the numbers for you to see below. Performance thus far is dismal. Please consider yourselves on notice. I am beyond disappointed with your failings thus far.

Melvin Hammer

Manager, Artemis Team

I was suddenly very awake and hot all over. My skin flushed. He sounded so angry. I’d only just joined the team, and I was already being lectured about my “dismal” performance? I’d worked my ass off on that software. Hehadto have gotten his data wrong. Is this why he’d been circling the drain at Apollo IT for a while now? I’d spent all night in the spreadsheet tabs, and I knew we were on track, ahead even, of our goal.

I flipped from tab to tab, looking at the programmers’ names and output data. Then I would have laughed if I hadn’t been so full of adrenaline. We hadn’t messed up at all. Melvin just didn’t know how to use a spreadsheet. Each programmer had their own tab, and the final pagewas set up to pull all the totals through a (totally incorrect) formula. Seriously? This dude sent a scathing message before even checking his own work?

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