Page 5 of All I Know

My shoulders lift into a shrug. "Big deal. It was what? Four months? We're adults now." I didn't want to tell him that I'd been hesitant to return to Paradise Beach because of how I'd been bullied those final months of high school. It hadshaken my confidence for years afterward, made me wary of trusting people.

He mutters something about how itwasa big deal.

"It's all in the past," I repeat a little louder. "And what happened back then means nothing. I felt awful you got in trouble for kicking Eric Anderson's ass our senior year."

"He deserved it. But then you pulled away from me."

"That's not true," I scowl. "I didn't want you to get in more trouble on my behalf. Had you gotten in one more fight, you wouldn't have graduated."

There's an uncomfortable pause. "I should've done more. You were the one who got the reputation for our kiss. I walked away unscathed. I never forgot that."

"That's the way of the friggin' world. That's how it works for girls. Damien, you did a lot. You were kind. You didn't tease. You weren't a jerk. You didn't falsely brag that you'd screwed me at the party. You treated me like a human being, and you never stopped calling me your friend." I didn't have to mention that his reputation was left intact because he was a Hastings, one of the islands' richest families. He knew it, I knew it. That's how living in a small town works.

He grunts and swirls the whiskey in his glass. "I've come to realize that men can do a lot better than," he pauses, holding up two fingers and making a quote sign, "not being a dick."

I shoot him a kind smile and try not to get too sucked into his soulful eyes.

Even after everything I went through—being called a dumb whore by the popular girls, propositioned by the entire football team, shamed on Facebook—I couldn't hold any of it against Damien. We'd never hooked up after that kiss. An invisible, impenetrable wall had gone up between us, especially after he tried to defend me in that fistfight the day after the party.

Okay, I'd erected that wall, in part to prevent him fromgetting into more fights over me. But also to protect my own heart. Even back then, I knew falling for Damien would end in heartbreak somehow.

"It's fine. Let's change the subject. What are you doing, for real? Military something?" I swivel my seat back and forth, trying to ignore his distractingly muscular body in that black T-shirt. Goodness, his biceps. If my best friend Lauren were here, she'd make some cheesy remark aboutsun's out, guns out. Or something. Is that the phrase? I mull it over as I wonder if his arms are as rock solid as they look.

"Like Tate told you, I'm a military contractor. Was hired on after I got out of the Marines. The good part is there's generous leave so I can see my family."

"And the bad part?" I take a sip.

"It's security stuff, top-secret clearance."

"So dangerous assignments then?"

He nods. My stomach constricts as I push aside thoughts of what danger means to a man like him. "Your folks must be thrilled you're home for the holidays."

"Oh yeah. They are. Especially since Ma was diagnosed with some heart issues a couple of months ago."

Our eyes lock.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. Heart attack?"

"No, but she was headed in that direction. She's gonna be okay." He frowns. "She has to be."

My shoulders sag. So many people with medical issues. Including me—but I'm not about to tell Damien my own physical problems. Not yet and probably not ever.

"I'm really sorry. I always liked your mom. She's okay, for sure?"

He nods grimly. "She needs to eat better and exercise more."

"I hear you. I've been trying to get my mom to do that, too. I've been so busy with her schedule. The doctor's appointments, the new diet, getting her to move around. But she'sstubborn. You probably overheard at the bar earlier. She recently had a mastectomy. Stage two breast cancer. She's gonna be okay, though." I press my lips together and nod.

She has to be okay.

"God, I'm sorry. Truly." He slowly turns his glass on the bar a few times. "Getting old sucks. I didn't think we'd have to deal with things like this until we were middle-aged. Makes you realize what's important in life, right?"

"Sure does."

The music seems suddenly too raucous for this heavy of a conversation, and I reach for the speaker remote to shut it off. Now it's so quiet I can practically hear Damien breathing.

Way to screw up tonight, Kate. Good job.

---