Page 28 of Inked Hearts

When I come down from my orgasm, my gaze goes back to that soft mouth. Quietly, I stand and make my way over to the bed, standing over her sleeping form. Without thought, I reach out my release coated fingers and press them to her lips. Even in her sleep, she's fucking gorgeous. I can barely hold back my groan when she flicks her tongue out and sighs at the taste of me on her tongue.

Something possessive floods me. She's mine. Someday I won't be the creep in the corner beating off to her. Someday I'll be the man she's on her knees for, the man who is sliding inside her tight body, and the man who gets to devour those lips. And while she may be on her knees for me, I’ll be on a leash for her. She doesn't know it yet but I’ve decided that I’m fucking hers.

???

Iwake up the next morning in my own bed and actively avoid Dakota. She went on her run with Maddox and now she’s gone, taking Aiden to school with Sebastian. I know that’s not the right answer, and that she might think that it was her nightmare that caused me to distance myself. But I can't stop thinking about what a fucking head case I am.

I want her. That much is painfully obvious. But it’s also ridiculously unprofessional. Something that I have never in my life been accused of. I can't be expected to be objective and face threats without any bias if I am too busy thinking about how fucking hot the woman is. I mean, come the fuck on. I beat my dick to her and smeared my release on her lips. While it’s definitely perverted as fuck… it's also the hottest thing I have ever done.

But I know better than to get involved with a woman.Any woman.I know exactly what will happen and I honestly just can't allow it. I’ve been in love once in my life and it was enough to make sure that I never did it again.

The problem is that I can see how easy it would be to love Dakota. She’s kind and loving, she puts on a strong facade but I can see the pain she lives in from her trauma. She’s every guy's dream girl and I know that if I had a real shot with her, I would be the luckiest guy in the world. But I don't have a shot and I know it won't work.

So why the fuck am I torturing myself with these thoughts?

I spent the entire night after her nightmare, wondering what it would look like to be with her. The only conclusion I could come to was that we would end up breaking each other. Eithershe would ghost me like my first love or I would realize I'm no longer capable of having a meaningful relationship. And I can't think of anything worse than causing her pain, especially after everything she has already been through.

So yeah, now I am avoiding her and attempting to be smart. I don'twantto avoid her but I need to. I need to find a way to stop obsessing over the woman so that I can do my goddamn job without popping a woody. But more than my attraction to her, I need to make sure that I protect her from the hurt that would happen. I don’t even know if I am capable of loving anyone, and I don’t think she’s the woman I should test the theory with.

Deciding that I need some fresh air and a massive break from life, I change into workout clothes and head outside. I figure a nice long run in the cold Colorado air will do me some good. The moment my feet hit the ground outside I take in a deep lung full of frigid air and let myself justbe.

I’m not exactly a fan of running. But it’s one of the best ways to release tension and work yourself into exhaustion. It’s probably a shit coping mechanism but I can’t find it in me to care. Maybe I can stop my brain from overthinking every single thing.

So I set off at an absolutely brutal pace, pushing myself until my lungs are screaming and my legs are ready to give out before I slow to a walk. My breathing is coming out in rough harsh gasps and I place my hands on my head to attempt to get more air into my lungs. The whole point of this was to get out of my head and yet I have memories long since buried flooding me.

“I was thinking about your letter,” her soft voice comes through the speaker on my phone and my heart thumps in my chest, “I think we should definitely look into applying to the same schools.”

Elation damn near drowns me at the very idea of moving to the same place as B. She's everything to me and I can't wait to have a future with her. I’ve already decided that she is it for me. She’s the girl I am going to marry and have kids with, the woman I want to grow old with. There’s something about her that just fits so well with me. People don’t always get lucky and find their soulmate and bestfriend in one person…but I did.

“Tell me what school you’re thinking of, little sunshine,” I ordered.

She starts going on and on about schools that have the best computer engineering programs and I hang onto everything single word. I could listen to her talk for hours and never get bored. There’s just something so calming about Bre and her honeyed voice. Smooth and sweet, coating my ear and causing my heart to thump wildly in my chest.

Shaking my head, I stop in the middle of the road and let out a tortured groan. We never got to apply to the same schools or see what kind of future we could have. We never had the opportunity to live a life together like we should have.

She just…disappeared.

Abandoned me right when we were supposed to be meeting. Left me standing in the airport with a bouquet of flowers like a sad sap for hours. Fucking hours I sat and waited, making excuses for her. She missed her flight and her phone was dead so she couldn’t let me know. Her flight detoured for weather. But I knew the truth. Deep down I knew she wasn’t coming. I just wasn’t willing to accept it.

The worst part was that I was genuinely worried that something had happened to her. It was the only conclusion my fucking delusional teenage brain could come up with as to why the girl who had become a beacon of light in my life would just…abandon me. I spent weeks trying to find a way to get her name.Weeks searching through random fucking obituaries to see if maybe my soulmate had died.

My parents had even started to feel concerned when they never heard back from her father. That concern turned into annoyance and they started to spew venom about how shitty she and her father must be. That it must have been a joke or a fucked up game and that they were probably sitting somewhere laughing at me. And the worst part is that I started to believe them.

I can't even describe the mess I was for months following. I was basically a shell of a human being. Maddox got so worried that he threatened to go to the school counselor to get me help.

Even now I find myself hating the girl who turned me inside out. It's been a fucking decade and I still feel so much anger at her for leaving me. For making promises that she had no intention to keep. Formakingme fall in love with her when she had no desire to love me back.

That right there is the reason why I can't possibly consider moving forward with Dakota. There’s some tension between us and some definite chemistry. But the truth is that any relationship is bound to crash and burn. The only way to actively avoid that kind of pain is to avoid any relationship altogether.

My phone buzzes in my running sleeve and I pull it out to see Spencer’s name on the screen.

Spencer:Are you with Dakota and Aiden?

Wolf:No, Dakota was taking Aiden to school with Sebastian. Maddox is at the house.

Wolf:Is everything okay?

Instead of sending a message back, my phone flashes with an incoming call.

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