Page 60 of Exception

“You know why not. Nothing can come of it in the long run. No one will support it, especially Cade or her parents, and one day she’ll get tired of living a secret life. When she does, she’ll end it and we’ll go our separate ways.”

“Can you do that?” That sympathetic look is back in his eyes.

“I’ll have to. As long as her reputation stays intact that’s all that matters.”

“I don’t know, man.” He runs a hand through his hair as he shakes his head. “When I think of Hailey I… I couldn’t give her up. Not for anything.”

“Well, since she loves you back you don’t have to.”

He cocks his head to the side. “You don’t think Tiff loves you back?”

“I think she’s attracted to me. And she likes me as a person. But love?” I swing my head back and forth. “She’s lived her whole life under a microscope, and right now all she wants is to have some fun. I can give her that.”

“Could you give her more? If that’s what she wants?”

Right about now, I wish we were still in the place where we didn’t talk about deep shit like feelings. “Don’t ask me that, Ryder. It’ll only make it harder to walk away when the time comes.”

“I’m just saying, maybe she isn’t in this only to have fun. She doesn’t strike me as the type of person to sleep around for kicks.”

I chuckle without any humor. “There’s a lot people don’t know about her.”

“And you do?” He lifts his eyebrow in a perfect arc.

“Yeah. I do.”

“That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

I open my mouth to deny what he’s implying, though before the words come out I think about the question. At this point I probably know her, the real her, better than anyone. But until she says she wants more, something she’s smart enough not to do, fun is all it is.

“It just means she picked the right guy for a secret fling.” I shake up the can of spray paint in my hand so I can finish marking the boundary for the landscaping, hoping that not-so-subtle hint will end the conversation.

“If you say so.” Ryder sighs heavily. “Be careful.”

I give him a curt up-nod to acknowledge I heard him then go back to my work. Only it doesn’t fulfill me the way it typically does. Instead, I just go through the motions, wondering how long I have until things come crashing down.

Ryder won’t out me, that much I know. But if he’s discovered my secret it’s only a matter of time before others do as well. I can either take steps to be more careful, to make this thing with Tiff last as long as possible, or I can end it now and I try to spare myself even more heartbreak.

Even as the thought crosses my mind, I know I won’t do that. She’s in charge, and as long as she wants to keep this going, I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen.

Chapter 24

Tiff

Drizzlingsomeoilinthe pan, just like the recipe calls for, I imagine the look on Deacon’s face when he gets here.

Unbeknownst to him, I’ve been practicing my cooking so I can surprise him with dinner. I’m no Betty Crocker—whoever that is—but her instructions are easy enough to follow, and the few dishes I’ve tried haven’t turned out half bad.

I add the spices and diced chicken, trying to cover the bottom of the pan so each piece gets cooked evenly. Then I set the pasta to boil and wait, stirring everything periodically so nothing burns, a mistake I made on my first attempt. Okay, so the instructions are easy enough if I follow them and don’t daydream while I work. Lesson learned.

Still, it’s hard not to let my mind wander to the man who inspired me to try cooking. Who’s inspired me to try so many things, and not just the sex things I originally wanted him to teach me. He’s got me writing a business plan for God’s sake, something I kind of wanted to do but wouldn’t have had the courage to try if not for his support.

I feel like myself when I’m with Deacon. Not a piece of myself, my whole self, sharing thoughts and ideas and hell, even fantasies, that make up who I am. And I love it. I might even love him. It’s hard to say since I’ve never been in love, but after watching several friends go through it, it seems to me the person who made them feel whole is the one they fell for. And Deacon is that for me. The only thing that makes me question my feelings—and his—is the secrecy.

Though I wasn’t in favor of it, I get why he insisted we keep this between us. I know he’s trying to protect me—and Cade and my parents and everyone else—in the best way he knows how. I wanted so badly to be with him, in whatever way possible, I went along with it. I just hope he’ll realize this connection between us is worth what I’m sure will be temporary wrath of his cousin and disapproval of the town.

“What’s this?” A strong arm snakes around my waist from behind as a pair of warm lips meet my neck.

“Dinner. Surprise!” I look at him over my shoulder with a goofy smile.

---