I catch myself wondering from time to time whether we were ever together and if I dreamed up our entire relationship. That’s how distant he’s being.

I have so many questions. Could any of this have to do with‘Her’? Maybe his secret family needs him.

I’m being ridiculous, but this doesn’t make sense.

I don’t do well with things that don’t make sense.

Clearly, I’m not going to get anything out of Reid. The next best option in my mind is to snoop.

When I’msure Reid has headed off to work, I go about my day taking care of Ethan. When Mr. Alvarez arrives, I let him know that I will be absent for today’s lesson.

I sneak up to Reid’s office. When I turn the door knob and it opens, I sigh and slip inside the room.

It smells like Reid. I drag a huge lungful of air, and it’s not enough. I miss him so much. I miss the closeness. I miss having him with me, not only literally, but figuratively; I miss knowing that he’s in my corner. It’s been a long time since anyone has cared enough to advocate for me.

I snap myself out of my reverie. Now is not the time to dawdle. Considering his behavior recently, Reid could reappear at any moment. How would I explain myself if that happened?

I go to his desk. Reid is a meticulous man. Although there are tons of papers on his desk, everything is neatly arranged. Still, it takes some time for me to go through. I feel as if I am invading his personal space. Probably because I am, but to be fair I barely understand half of what I’m reading.

When I find nothing useful, I go through his drawers, which takes equally as long. By the time I’m done with his desk, I’ve been in here for an hour. I head over to his bookshelf. I pull out every book in case one triggers a secret room to reveal itself.

Am I insane?

Who do I think he is, James Bond?

Reid doesn’t have a secret room, but I pull all the books out just in case.

When nothing extraordinary happens, I proceed to ransack the rest of the room, making sure to leave everything as I found it. Even at that, Reid might still be able to tell that someone was in here.

Maybe he has cameras in here. I look up and sigh when I don’t spot any cameras, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have hidden cameras. I should’ve thought about that before I started all this.

I shrug.

It’s too late for that now.

By the time I’m done with the whole room and have come up empty handed, I’m disappointed. I really did think I would find something.

I’m staring at the painting of a sunset that Reid has behind his desk. Something hits me. Reid isn’t an artsy person. There literally isn’t another piece of art in this entire house.

I walk over to the painting and pull it out slightly from the wall, peeking behind it.

Just as I thought, a safe.

I take the painting off the wall and stare at a safe with an electronic keypad fixed on it.

I try the handle just in case I’m lucky, but no one is that lucky. It doesn’t budge.

I am not familiar with safes and the security mechanisms within. I don’t know if it’s the kind of thing where if I make one wrong guess it sends a message to Reid letting him know that someone is trying to get into his safe. Do they even make safes that do that?

Since I don’t know what will happen I decide I’m only going to try this once. I spend the next five minutes thinking of all the possible number combinations he could have used. For my final choice I settle on Ethan’s birthday.

I know it’s quite pedestrian to use your kid’s birthday as your safe password, but when it comes to Ethan, Reid is just as corny as any other parent.

I punch in Ethan’s birthday and hold my breath. It takes a second for the mechanism to register the numbers I put in, but eventually I hear a whirring sound.

The safe pops open.

I let out the breath I’ve been holding in and gingerly pull the door open, my heart pounding in my chest.