Page 62 of The Year I was Almost Prom Queen

Adika doesn’t say anything, but she won’t make eye contact with me. She looks at Stephanie, who pushes me past them quickly.

I feel sick and dizzy all over again.

We find a table as far away from everyone as possible. But I still manage to have peas thrown in my direction. One hits the side of my face with a squishy splat. Stephanie jumps to her feet and looks around. Her eyes are filled with rage. I think if she knew who the culprit was, she might actually punch someone. But there are too many kids laughing about it to tell who actually threw them.

I grab her arm and pull her back down onto the bench. “It’s not worth it,” I say. I wipe the disgusting vegetable off my face and continue to poke at my own food. I’m not really hungry. It’s amazing how much ostracism can take away an appetite.

I get up and dump my barely touched meal into the trash bin and leave the lunchroom early. Stephanie follows.

I run straight into Jaron. He won’t even look at me. His usually beautiful, soft gaze is stone cold and staring at the wall.

“I don’t even know what to say,” he finally says. “I didn’t realize I was scary and manipulative. It sounds like you’d rather go with one of the other guys, who’s not as scary, so I won’t stand in your way anymore.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets and stalks away.

“Oooh ouch,” someone says.

“Tragic.”

“He can do better than her.”

I feel my resolve from earlier melting away. I thought I could do this. I thought I could stand up to them, but I can’t. My eyes fill with tears. First Ethan, now Jaron. Two boys who meant nothing to me a week ago, but who had quickly become everything.

As I make my way through the crowded halls, I can hear the jeers and people quoting lines from my journal entries. I rush past them as fast as my legs will move. I soon begin to run. I run against Stephanie’s voice calling after me. I run past the laughing kids. I run away from my parents’ ongoing disapproval.I run from the bullies. I run from the nomination. The one I never deserved in the first place. I run out the front doors of the school and I don’t look back.

Stephanie catches up to me in the parking lot. Without saying a word, she takes me by the hand and leads me to her car. She buckles me into the front seat and starts to drive. I don’t talk. I don’t even turn in her direction. The tears have stopped, but I haven’t found my voice yet. Stephanie doesn’t talk either. If she has any questions, she keeps them to herself.

My phone buzzes and without thinking, I glance at the screen. It’s a text from Austin.

I didn’t realize you thought of me as just another

girlfriend. I’m sorry for being pushy. I’ll back off now.

Go with Jaron or Ethan. You’ll have more fun.

I shove the phone into my backpack and close my eyes. I press my face against the cool, glass window. If Taylor is behind this, like I suspect she is, she’s definitely getting what she wants. She’s successfully ruined my relationship with almost every single person I care about. The reputation I was starting to build is now crashing down around me. I feel like I’m suffocating under a pile of rubble and I don’t know how to dig my way out again. I shouldn’t have taken so long to decide. I shouldn’t have dragged Jaron, and Austin, and Ethan along. Maybe if I had just made a choice on day one and kept my head down, it never would have gotten this far. Taylor wins. I started with three dates for prom. Now I have none. I had three amazing guys and I managed to lose them all.

***

“This is really good,” I say, looking over Adika’s fourth attempt. “I definitely think you’re starting to think more abstractly.” I try and offer her a warm smile. But I have nothing left. I feel completely numb of all emotions.

“It definitely doesn’t come naturally for me,” she says.

“How are you feeling about the AP test now?” I ask.

Adika pushes her notebook into her backpack and stands. “I actually feel a lot better,” she says.

“My parents will be home any minute. You better hurry if you don’t want to be seen.” I hold open my bedroom door and Adika gracefully moves through it. I follow her down the stairs, where she pauses at the front door.

“Thank you, Emma,” she says.

“Anytime.” I force another smile. “It’s not like I have anything else going on in my life anymore.”

Adika reaches out and touches my arm.

“I really owe you,” she says. “Especially after everything that went down at the assembly this morning. I thought for sure you’d want to cancel.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk about the assembly or prom right now.”

---