Page 63 of The Year I was Almost Prom Queen

“I understand, but—”

“I told you I would help you,” I say. “We already had a plan. Just because my life is a dumpster fire, doesn’t mean I need to pull you down with me.”

“Thanks,” she whispers again.

We stand awkwardly for a minute until she reaches for the door. As she pulls it open, my parents are standing on the porch. Adika swishes past them quickly, without uttering another word. Shoot. She may never ask for my help again. One more relationship down the drain. I’m on a roll.

“Was that…Adika?” Mom asks, looking after her.

Dad wanders off to his den, but Mom remains right by my side. My face burns. I haven’t spoken to her since our meeting in the principal’s office.

“Uh, yeah,” I say, hoping she’ll drop it and let me leave. The headache I’ve been gaining throughout the day, from all thestress and the crying, has reached its peak. I just want to crawl into bed and never come out again.

“What was she doing here?” Mom asks, closing the door. “I didn’t think you and Adika were friends.”

I stare down at my shoes. Even looking at my mom causes my heart to sting. She dropped everything to help me prepare for the assembly and I repaid her by possibly getting her fired. And the daughter-of-the-year award goes to…

“I was just helping her with something, Mom. And please don’t say anything. She doesn’t want anyone else to know.”

“Huh.”

“What?” I ask.

“I’m just surprised,” Mom says. “After everything that happened today. And Adika has never exactly been friendly to you. Why would you help her?”

I shrug. I just want to go back upstairs and get away from this awkward conversation. “Because she asked me to,” I say, shifting from one foot to the other.

I close my eyes, waiting for Mom’s response. I can’t tell what she’s thinking right now. But I doubt it’s good.

“That’s very…big of you, Emma,” she says.

My eyes jump open. “Huh?”

“I’m proud of you.”

I nod and make my way back upstairs to my bedroom. She’s proud of me? Is it possible to have a heart attack at seventeen? Somehow my mom’s words don’t make me feel better, they just increase my confusion. I’m filled with so many conflicting emotions, I can hardly stand. I turn off the lights and climb into bed. My head throbs as I relive the day’s events over and over in my mind. I want to scream. I want to cry. But I’m completely drained of tears. I have nothing left to give.

Chapter Nineteen

I can hear voices above my head, but I don’t have the strength to open my eyes and discover their owners. I’m at a point of not caring. I don’t care about school, I don’t care about my family, and I really don’t care about the prom. Maybe I should pack up and move to a foreign country. It would probably be a huge relief to my parents, to have their giant disappointment of a daughter gone for good. I could read beautiful literature, and learn another language, and maybe even meet a handsome prince with a thick accent. The voices around me get louder and I realize I’m coming more and more out of my slumber.

“Did she miss school again today?”

“Yeah, that’s like three days in a row.”

“Have you talked to her parents?”

“They said she’s been really sick.”

I think about the cans of vegetable soup hiding under my bed. I just poured one of those into the toilet, and my parents left me alone. But I don’t share this info out loud. I peek my eyes open and, through the sleepy fuzz, I see Stephanie sitting in the moon chair in the corner of my room. She sits up when she sees my eyes opening. I roll over and see Adika sitting on the other side of the room, her back against my dresser. I can’t look at either of them.

“When did this start? Was it after the videos got released?” Stephanie asks.

“No, I was with her later that night. I don’t know, something else must have happened after I left. I think her mind just completely shut down. A person can only take so much,” Adika says.

I groan and pull the blanket back over my face.

“Just go away,” I mumble.

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