Page 160 of A Dark Melody

He makes me a vodka cranberry then makes himself a screwdriver.

“Cheers.” He says, clinging his cup against mine. “To a good night.”

I smile and take a sip of my drink. “I should head to my dressing room.” I say as I see Wes and his band start to make their way to the side of the stage.

“Why?”

“Uh.” I pause. I didn’t really want to confess I can’t stand the thought of hearing Wes sing live yet. “I need to freshen up.”

“Can I join you?”

“Sure.” I agree with my mouth, though I know in my brain what people will think seeing us go into my dressing room together.

Sue is sitting in my dressing room typing away on her phone when we walk in.

“Hello.”

“I need to pee.”

Sue gets up and unlocked the look on the bathroom door. I don’t bother to look at Skylar. I do shut the door behind and wait for Sue to say something or try to come in, but she doesn’t. I don’t think she trust Skylar enough yet to make a big deal out of it.

I peed and washed my hands before exiting the bathroom.

“I’ll see you at side stage. Please be on time.”

“I will be.” I say.

She leaves the room, so it’s just Skylar and me now. I sit in front of the vanity and start to fix my make up a little.

“Why the lock on the bathroom?” Skylar asks.

“So, I can’t throw up.” I speak while trying to keep my voice level. Quite a bit more difficult than I had anticipated. I suck at poker face. I’m not sure I could trust him, like I trusted Wes. It’s not an instant connection the way it was with Wes and me.

“You’re bulimic?” He asks. I simply nod my head, applying more eyeliner. “I don’t know why. You are so tiny.” He sits on the couch.

“I’m tiny because I’m bulimic.”

“I guess.” He pauses. “But I find you extremely attractive. Sexy even.”

He is flirting, and I know I should flirt back. It’s what the label wants. He is nice enough, too. He is no Wes, but I don’t deserve someone like Wes. I have to settle for someone like Skylar.

“Thank you.” I say, applying another layer of lipstick. I just can’t bring myself to flirt back. Not yet, anyway.

“I like you, Abbey. You’re a lot of fun.”

“So are you.”

He was fun, a dangerous kind of fun, but fun, nonetheless. Being friends with him would be a nice distraction from everything else. Sure, he wanted more, I could tell that already, he wasn’t doing a good job hiding it, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. He didn’t seem like the time to take advantage of me, at least I hope he isn’t.

nineteen

It’s beena little over a week of touring. I’ve been spending all my free time with Skylar. We mostly get drunk or high together. We talk about some stuff but nothing too deep or personal. It is a nice distraction from the pain of losing Wes.

Sue is more willing to let me hang out onKey Failures’bus. I think the label is loving all the photographs taken of Skylar and me together. I’ve been eating whatever she puts in front of me without complaining.

Sue gets me a pick me up twice. Skylar and I do ecstasy once again. I take my thizzle on a night when he does heroin. I waited in the kitchen area as he shot up, unable to watch him do that. He nods off halfway through the night and his bandmate, Kevin had to carry him back to his bunk.

I see Wes every now and then, but mostly I try to avoid him. I cry over him some nights on my bus, when Sue won’t give me Xanax because I’m too high or drunk. I miss him terribly, but it doesn’t hurt as bad unless I see him close to another girl. I do my best to try to avoid him and I think he does the same.

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