Page 145 of A Dark Melody

“What?”

“I know a little diner down the street. It’s open 24/7 and has some of the best BLTs in town.” His lips pull up at the corners, offering me a peak at his teeth as he smiles at me.

“Oh, I don’t know.” The idea of going out to get food with him seemed like too much. I didn’t want to give him mixed signals. We are not going to date.

“Or we could go to a bar. There is this popular one down the street.”

“I’m not really interested in dating anyone right now.”

“What if it’s not a date and we just hang out? Like friends? Like you and Wesley.”

I try not to flinch at his name.

“Maybe. I need to go get ready.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “I’ll see you around.”

I nod and turn around.

Wes is staring at me from across the room. I quickly look away and head to my dressing room.

I didn’t look to see if that girl was still by his side. I didn’t allow myself to look at him long, but I wonder how long he was looking at me. I couldn’t read the look on his face. Was he hurt seeing me talk to Skylar, like I was hurt seeing him talk to that pretty girl? Was he indifferent? Maybe he didn’t care anymore because he has already moved on with that girl.

I chug the rest of the drink Skylar made me, and then I forced myself to focus on getting ready, fighting back tears. I try not to think about Wes and that girl, Wes seeing me talk to Skylar or Wes in general, but it’s hard.

I wish I knew what he was feeling and thinking. I wish I could talk to him. I wish I could do more than just talk to him. I wish I could kiss him, fuck him, be with him, but I can’t. It’s what’s for the best. It’s better this way. I’d get used to seeing him with other girls. I want him happy, after all. I want him to move on and end up with someone great, someone deserving of him.

I quickly get ready, doing my makeup in its typical fashion, smokey eye shadow with red lipstick. I change into a black miniskirt, a black halter top, and black heeled boots. I straighten my hair, leaving it down and call it good.

“Here.” Sue says, coming into my dressing room. “A pick-me-up.” She sets the vial on the table next to me.

I pick it up and quickly twist off the top, doing two bumps. I’m desperate for a distraction from the pain. I could use another drink, but coke would have to do. I did not want to go back out there right now.

“You should go out there and mingle.” Sue says, as if reading my mind. “You’ve been hiding out for a few days. Maybe go watch Skylar play.”

“The label really wants us to date, don’t they?”

“They were happy with Wes, but yes. They would’ve preferred Skylar to begin with, and now that Wes and you fizzled out, they would like you to date someone else. Preferably Skylar.” She shrugs “He is kind of cute and seems sweet. Harmless, really.”

“Yeah. But I don’t feel like dating anyone ever again.”

“After the whole Wes thing, I think it may be a good idea for you to try to date around. It will help you move on and maybe stop all the wild rumors. Who knows, maybe you’ll find someone better.” I don’t bother replying to that. “Go mingle. I’ll see you at side stage ten minutes before your set.” Her voice is firm and full of authority.

“Okay.”

I guess I couldn’t be mad. She has given me a few days to wallow in self-misery. Now I have to go back to playing the part.

I do another bump and then head out to mingle, as Sue ordered me to. I make a b-line for the alcohol table and pour myself another vodka cranberry.

“Hey.” I look up and see Ben there, making himself a drink.

“Hey.”

“How are you?”

“Just great.” I’m trying not to sound too sarcastic, but that’s a stupid question.

“Yeah? Good to hear.” He laughs lightly.

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