I glance back to the stage and mouth along to the songs Wes sings. I hug myself as he sings, wishing I was in his arms and far away from all this drama. I don’t like drama. I can feel the eyes on me as he sings too. There would be talk about us again. I mean it’s been nonstop since we started hanging out but this was just adding fuel to the fire.
What did it matter now though? We were together. At least for now. Maybe Haley would win him back. The thought made me want to throw up. I couldn’t lose him that fast, could I? I couldn’t lose him in one night. There is no way.
I really wish she wasn’t here right now. I wish our first night together wasn’t going to be spent dodging her.
When they start the opening part of Feeling Scars Wes looks my way. He smiles at me for a moment before turning back to the crowd. He isn’t looking for Haley. He isn’t smiling at her. He is smiling at me. Maybe he is telling the truth. Maybe he does want nothing to do with her.
When their set is over, Wes walks off stage first. He quickly undoes his mic pack and walks over to me. He reaches for my hand, and I hand it over. He entwines our fingers and pulls me from the crowd.
“Let’s get something to drink.” He says. I nod, and he puts his arm around my shoulder, steering me to the drink table. We approach it, and he removes his arm from around me, grabbing a plastic cup. “What do you want, darling?”
“Vodka.”
“A vodka cranberry?” I shrug and nod. “You got it.”
He makes me a drink and hands it to me. I throw it back while he makes himself another Jack and coke. He looks at me then the empty cup in my hand. He sighs but takes the cup from me, making me another vodka cranberry.
“I guess pacing ourselves is out of the question now.” He says as he hands me my cup back. He throws back his drink and starts to make himself another.
“Wesley.” Haley speaks up, from the side of the table. I didn’t even see her coming. I glance her way, taking a sip of my drink.
“Yes?”
“Please, can we just talk?” She stands with her hand on her hip.
“No.” He doesn’t even look at her, just stares at me.
“I’m begging you. Just five minutes.” Her voice is pleading, fake, phony. She sounds like a whiny child.
“No.” He repeats plainly. “I need a cigarette. Come on.” He takes my hand in his. I look at it. Surely, this would indicate thatwe are a couple, right? I pull my hand away from his, and he looks surprised.
“I need to freshen up.”
“Okay, I’ll see you before you take the stage.” He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Yeah.”
As he walks away, Haley comments. “You called him your friend last night.”
“He is my friend.” I retort. “And more.”
“And more?” She laughs. “I wouldn’t get too comfortable.”
“Why not?” I challenge. I’m surprising myself with how bold I’m being. I guess I’ve finally had enough of being passive.
“We have a history, a history that can’t be erased.” She comments with a smirk. “And he is a tits guy.” Like she thinks she is better than me. I mean, she is, but does she need to flaunt it in my face?
I stare at her for a moment. I don’t know what to say to that. She flashes me a smug smile before turning and walking outside.
I can feel people staring at me, so I quickly turn and walk to my dressing room.
The anxiety is overwhelming. The minute I shut the door to my dressing room, I’m on my knees gasping for air. Tears fall down my face. This cannot be happening right now. I need to take the stage soon.
Haley was outside talking to Wes. I know that. He had to put her on the guest list. Why did he do that? What is she saying to him? Begging him to take her back, probably. Would he? Would he want her over me? Yes, he would. He is a tits guy. And my tits were so small now. She is so much prettier than me. He has already proven he would take her back before, so why wouldn’t he now?
Hot tears pour from my eyes. My breath comes out in jagged intervals as I gasp for air, my lungs not working properly. Mystomach burns painfully at the idea of them talking. I wish she wasn’t here, but more than that- I wish I wasn’t here.
I know I have to go out there and sing soon, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to pull myself together.