Page 67 of Wild in Spirit

“No. They wouldn’t. You know how male shifters are. Jealous and possessive. I could never flirt and make small talk or do any part of my job peacefully. And for the first time in my life, I have found something I love, something I’m natural at, and something I do completely on my own. My work makes mehappy. My mate would make me give it up, make me live with him in his pack, birth his babies, and be a good little housewife for whatever life he had already built himself. That’s our way of life, and you can’t deny it. You want that yourself.”

Again, his silence said it all.

“So, you can say I won’t be sacrificing anything, but that’s because the men don’t. It’s always us women. We give up our lives, our careers, our freedom. For what? Good sex? Children? Unconditional love? But what does that matter if I don’t love myself?”

“Your mate would be made for you, and if that’s how you feel, then he would work to find ways to make you happy.”

“At what expense? His own happiness as well?”

She shook her head, not waiting for his response, but trying to make her voice a little gentler. “Take your parents and this pack. How many people had dreams, things they wanted to do and be, but they couldn’t? Your mom told me story after story of all the things she did before she met your father…and then what?”

“She’s done what she wanted. He never held her back.”

“You sure about that? Or did she sacrifice because she loved him? Did his life trajectory change at all? Or did he do exactly what he wanted?”

“I never asked.”

“And you?”

He waited a beat, but she didn’t fill the silence this time, forcing him to answer.“I’m happy doing what I do.”

“You’ve never dreamed of something more? More than what you were told? You can’t tell me there is nothing you would do if given the opportunity to leave or just go back and forth, the opportunity for complete freedom.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maybe it’s because I grew up in Aisling, and we all come and go, doing what we want. Our dreams are possible. Were you even allowed to dream?”

He shook his head, unable to wrap his head around what she was saying. “It’s not our way. It’s not the wolf way. Not the Tuisa way.”

“And your mate?”

“She’s not in this pack. I would have found her by now.”

“So, she’s out there somewhere. With her freedom. If you find her, what if she didn’t want to come to live in Tuisa?”

“She’s my complement, my born soulmate. She would want to be where I am. She would be perfect for me.”

“You keep saying that, but you’re literally minimizing another human being down to being born just to do what you want, to live how you want. Do you hear how insane that sounds?”

“That’s not how I meant it.”

“That’s how it is. Fated mates are an unfair match-up. Someone always gives up something. Do you not understand how scary the whole idea of fated mates or a simple relationship can be? Look at Ava and Makaii.”

“Is this why you won’t give us a chance? You’re afraid I will hold you back?”

She paused at that. The simple words for everything she’d been feeling coming out of his mouth so easily. And he didn’t know. She struggled to keep from crying, but no matter how she tried to regulate her breathing, silent tears flowed from her eyes. In the dark, she hoped he couldn’t see them, but he was the one to wipe them away.

“It’s more than that. I…we…what do you think we could even be, Nas? You’re giving up on your fated mate…for me?”

“She’s not in this pack, and I’m not going anywhere. If I had to choose someone…” He shook his head, like he was trying to clearhis own thoughts. “I’ve never felt like this before. I just thought…I don’t know what I thought, but I can’t seem to let you go.”

“And yet, you still don’t know me.”

“Give us a chance, some time to see where this goes. I won’t stop you from doing anything. Not your work, not even meeting your fated mate. Give us this time.”

His words echoed through her mind, and for a second, she wanted to agree, to give them a chance like he was asking. But she couldn’t. He didn’t know what he was asking of her. Of himself. The longer they were together, the more it would hurt when she left. And if she never left, she knew she’d lose herself.

“Do you know who my father is?”

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