Page 25 of Two Marlboros

For a moment I thought he was referring to the fistfight, but I remembered that I was back on the mundane planet Earth and that he was referring to that subpar date. Meanwhile, he seemed to remember the cigarette: he brought it to his mouth and took a drag. My gaze was once again drawn to his lips, which triggered a feeling of warmth from below. A sensation that was not supposed to exist.

“Apparently so,” I said, and forced myself to take my eyes off him, but without succeeding. I then tried to focus on the strandof beard he had, after which I went up his nose to dwell on his eyes, which had an almost oriental cut, though not enough to mistake him for an Asian. Just then his gaze crossed mine, and it took me a second too long to avert it.

“Although I’m not quite clear on the dynamics of the events,” I replied, and I had the feeling that I had stumbled a little. “He told me he and I were coming to the concert,” I added, in the most natural voice I could manage.

I realized with annoyance that this was a conversation I would have hated to stop right there. The flicker that had gone through me in my lower abdomen shifted to chest level. I didn’t like this at all.

“I got texts from you, or so I thought. I wonder who I’ve been texting with! Probably with Ashton.”

My colleague’s plan appeared crystal clear to me. I already had a couple of boring little things in mind for him to do, besides checking the cameras, questioning Samantha Miller, and helping me look for clues about the club.

Another puff of smoke ended up under my nose. I breathed normally, only to regret it after a while. It was really nauseating, so acrid and pungent. But how could he stand it?

“Do you want to check the number?” I asked.

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. It’s enough for me to know it wasn’t you. But why would he put on this scene?”

“Because he’s been trying to pair me up with someone for months, despite my protests.”

He was still sucking in when he burst out laughing; he started coughing a little and I became alarmed.

“Are you alright?”

He giggled again as he nodded at me. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting that.”

I guessed that thread of embarrassment that had run through him a few minutes earlier was now completely gone.

“Do you laugh all the time?”

“You’re the one who never laughs.”

“Funny.”

He took a few steps in my direction and rested his left shoulder on the gate, turned toward me. “A compliment! Should I cry out for a miracle?”

I tightened my lips. Every time he managed to catch me off guard with that impertinence of his. Why didn’t I drop him as soon as the opportunity had presented itself? Without realizing it, I bit my lips. I barely groaned in pain.

“Why does Ash want to find you a boyfriend?”

I found myself turning to him, who pretended to have an idea. “Ah, let me guess: He thinks a little sex would be good for you.”

I widened my eyes. “Excuse me?”

I wasn’t really sure I understood correctly, but I read in his eyes again that malice, that believing himself superior to anyone who had the misfortune to gravitate around him. He burst out laughing.

“Come on, does the word ‘sex’ shock you? Sex – sex – sex…”

“Will you shut up?”

I had shouted. My breath had swelled, my body shaken with a slight tremor. Nathan was there, standing still in front of me. A slight gust of wind moved the trail of smoke away from us, for once not toward me. He kept running his eyes over mine, his eyebrows raised, his lips barely parted.

I had the impression that the crowd around there was watching us. I could feel the stares on me, the whispered mutterings of people, I could feel the guilt starting from below and rising up like winding vines, ready to crush me. I shook my head and walked away, intending to get in line. At least there I would blend in among the people.

I soon realized that I much preferred the chatter in background rather than Nathan’s voice.

I shook my head again. Why had Ashton gotten me into that situation?

Suddenly, I felt a breath of smoke on my neck. I had learned to recognize the smell of his cigarette, and I was almost unnerved by that sudden association between him and smoke. I did not turn around, but he stepped forward; I recognized him from the print on his T-shirt, which I peeked at out of the corner of my eye. He was sulking, for once.

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