Page 185 of Two Marlboros

“Alright - you know Nathan Hayworth, right? What’s the relationship between you?”

His eyes suddenly became watchful. “What does Nathan have to do with this?”

Ashton entered the discussion head-on. “We’re asking the questions here, Mr. Goldwin. Please answer them.”

I turned to my colleague and shot him a look that demanded more politeness in his answers. If we had burned Ryan, we would have lost any chance of tracing it back to Waitch, and I might have lost the opportunity to keep my promise to Nathan.

“Yes, I’ve known him, pretty much since we were kids. We were neighbors and went to the same school. We used to meet at the gardens to play and things like that. There was a time when we were best friends, but now we’ve kind of lost touch.”

“I owe so much to his family, though,” he continued. “Liz and James put me up for almost two months in their house because some pretty big shit had broken out in mine. During that time with Nathan we lived like brothers, we were always together.... Eventually social services intervened, and I went back to my parents, but I haven’t forgotten what he did for me.”

I thought Nathan must have had a pretty happy childhood, at least before the whole mess about his sexuality broke out. The way Ryan talked about them, they sounded like a model family, and Nathan the son to be proud of. I could just see him, his father, proud of him. At the same time, however, I could see a boy loaded with so many expectations, who felt that he had destroyed and disappointed himself.

“And Nathan...” I began, lingering for a moment, “what is his relationship to this business?”

“It has nothing to do with cocaine. He’s never even smoked a joint. He’s an asshole, yes, but in his own way. He’s always stayed away from that stuff, maybe because he wanted to be the model son. You know, because of his father and so on and so forth.”

I nodded. Nathan’s affection for his father and desire to regain his trust was almost touching. Ryan was right: in so many ways he was a moron, but in others he was a really good guy.

For the first time, however, Ryan did not wait for another question.

“But why are you asking about him? What does Nathan have to do with this? He’s clean.”

Ashton took the floor again. “You don’t have to sniff cocaine to get into the drug business.”

My colleague did not flinch an inch, unlike Ryan, who instead had placed his hands on the table and almost looked like he wanted to get on it.

“You’re kidding!”

“It’s business and he’s short of money.”

“Cut the crap, Nathan would never do that! If someone brought him up it was just to cover his ass and put the blame on him. Because he’s clean, period!”

That sentence caught my attention. Putting the blame on him - the same thing Nathan had assumed.

“Alright, alright. Let’s pick up the thread for a moment,” I interjected.

Ryan and Ashton were glaring at each other. Ash had his usual defiant grin plastered on his face, while Ryan was breathing heavily, almost panting, his hands still resting on the table. He did not remove them until several seconds later, when by then even his breathing had returned to a regular rhythm. Mygaze shifted from one to the other, trying to figure out when it was a good time to start again.

In the meantime, I thought about Ryan’s reaction, his defending Nathan to the hilt. Was he really innocent or was it that ancient bond they had that made him talk? How much had their friendship really broken? I also thought back to what he had said about someone trying to frame Nathan just to create an alibi, but I wanted to get there in stages.

“Ryan, in no uncertain terms - we are trying to find out the identity of someone named Waitch. We think you can help us.”

He huffed, then shook his head again. Immediately he lowered it, mimicked the action of pulling back his hair by stopping on the top of his head, to restrain that gesture born of habit. He returned a half smile, as if to imply that it would not be so easy.

“I don’t know anything about this guy.”

“So, he’s a person.”

“Of course he’s a person. What was it supposed to be, a dog?”

Ash was already ready to snap, but I stopped him with a wave of my hand. I waited for Ryan to add something, or show signs of relenting, but none of that came. I did, however, sense a certain nervousness that seemed to arise all at once. He started moving his foot again, and his eyes made quick movements, as if hunting for the next thought to chase.

“Ryan, you need to help us on Waitch. Other people could end up in the business, you know that too.”

“He’s just a little bigger fish than the others. And people who want to get into this business don’t just go to him, you know. He’s full of assholes like that. They’re interested in making cash, they’ll sell you anything.”

How could I get Ryan to talk? I sighed too, as he had done just before, looking for an answer.

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