Page 21 of Shattered Trust

Maybe she had been more at fault for the disintegration of their marriage than she'd been willing to admit.

Lindsey 's shift started slowly, but soon patients were streaming in. When the EMT crew brought in a drunk driver who'd crashed his car into a street pole, she was reminded of her problems with Sam all over again.

Thankfully the patient, Jeff Jones, wasn't seriously injured. A gash across his forehead would need a few stitches, but otherwise Jeff was remarkably unhurt.

She shouldn't be surprised, considering Jeff’s alcohol level was twice the legal limit. He'd admitted to having a couple of martinis over lunch. What had reminded her of Sam, though, had been when he'd claimed he was upset because his wife had announced she was leaving him.

Instantly she was back to the night before Sam had left for his smoke jumping mission. She'd told him she was filing for divorce. That when he returned from his mission, he should find somewhere else to stay. There had been a part of her that had thought he wouldn't care anyway as he'd spent more time away from her than at home.

But he had cared, or so he'd claimed. Then he'd died.

Uncomfortable with the memories, Lindsey concentrated on Jeff’s minor injuries. She started an IV, infused plenty of fluids to help dilute the alcohol and even fed him a late lunch.

Toward the end of her shift Dr. Delaney cleared Jeff for discharge. She watched as the police took him away in handcuffs, arresting him for driving under the influence. Jeff had been totally dejected, telling her that for sure now his wife wouldn't give him a second chance.

If Sam had lived, would they have tried to make their marriage work? She had thought long and hard about even filing for divorce. She’d tried to talk to Sam, but he had no interest in seeing a counselor. And finally, their empty marriage had convinced her there was nothing to save. She knew there had to be more to a marriage, a partnership, then simple coexistence. It had hurt her deeply to know Sam preferred to be anywhere but at home.

Still, it wasn't as if Sam had been a bad guy. The truth was, they’d gotten married too young. Then they’d had gotten pregnant with Josh almost right away. The responsibility had been sobering. And somehow, over the years, the love between them had evaporated until there had been nothing left but dust.

She wished she had someone to talk to about her marriage. Someone who would understand her dilemma. Austin? She bit her lip uncertainly. Why not? Maybe it would be easier to view Austin as a friend if she started to treat him like one. Maybe once he knew what had really happened in her marriage, some of the attraction between them would fade. Love from afar was always easier than dealing with the reality of every day.

On her way home from work, Lindsey stopped by her house to pick up the mail. She had forgotten to go to the post office to temporarily change her mailing address to Austin’s.

There were a few bills, but payment wasn't late as she'd arranged for electronic payments directly out of her checking account. It was one way to repair her crippled credit rating.

There was an envelope from Josh’s school. Progress report? With a sense of dread she drove home, trying to prepare for the worst.

She knew Josh's grades had slipped over the past quarter. His poor grades, along with his truancy had been signs that she was losing him. In the week and a half they've been living with Austin, things had seemed better. Yet maybe that was wishful thinking? They’d only been here ten days. How much influence could Austin really have had in such a short time?

Entering Austin’s house quietly so she wouldn't wake him up, she carried the mail into the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she opened the envelope and read Josh’s progress report.

A heavy weight rolled off her chest. A couple of C's but more B’s and even one A-, something she’d never seen on his report card. Much better than the last progress report she'd received.

She was grinning like an idiot when Austin walked into the kitchen, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of athletic shorts, his hair damp from a recent shower. He was up earlier than she'd expected as Josh didn't need to be picked up for another twenty minutes.

“Good news?” He asked, opening the fridge and pouring a large glass of orange juice.

“Very good news.” She waved the progress report at him. “Josh is doing better in school.”

“Really?” Austin’s eyes gleamed with interest as he reached for the report, shutting the fridge door with his elbow as he scanned it with a quick eye. “Wow this is great. I'm glad.”

“Me, too.” She knew much of this was because of Austin. “You were right. Temporarily moving in with you and starting him in Tai Kwon Do classes has made a huge difference. I don't know how to thank you.

“You don't have to thank me,” he protested. His compelling green gaze met hers. “I care about you and Josh. I'm happy to help.”

She knew he meant it. If only Sam had felt the same way. At least before their marriage had crumbled. Ridiculous tears threatened, and she changed the subject to prevent from getting maudlin. “Maybe we should go out to dinner tonight to celebrate.”

“I like that idea.” He offered a lopsided smile. “But do we have to let Josh pick the place? We're likely to end up at some pizza joint if we do.”

She had to laugh at his rueful expression. “I know. But they are his grades after all.”

“I guess you're right.” He stared at her and suddenly the kitchen seemed too small. Or maybe it was just the memory of their kiss that made her hyper aware of him.

“Well.” She cleared her throat to cover the awkward moment. “If you're sure you're up to a night out, I’ll pick up Josh and meet you back here.”

“I can pick up Josh,” he quickly offered. “You just walked in the door from work. Why don't you relax? Josh may have some homework to finish first anyway before we're ready to go.”

His consideration was so novel, so nice, she couldn't refuse. “All right. Thanks.”

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