Page 81 of Withholding Nothing

O'Shea snickered beside me. "Oh, he was in an accident, all right."

"What does that mean?" Savannah asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Let's just say that he and I met and it wasn't on the best of terms," O'Shea admitted, which piqued my dad's interest.

"Oh yeah? What happened with that?"

"Ashton and I went out and met up with her friends for drinks and the prick was there. He came over to Ashton and I and insulted her while calling me the N-word."

My father clenched his hand into a fist, trying to refrain from pounding it on the table. "That cock-sucking bastard," he growled.

"Phillip, language!" my mother warned with a pointed look.

"I can't stand that kid or his family. Who does he think he is to insult my daughter more than he already has? He's lucky it wasn't me that was there that night. He would've been in a wheelchair by the time I was done with him."

"It's not a big deal, Dad. I'm so over Steve at this point," I mentioned, picking at my food.

"Over him? That's great to hear, honey," my mom mentioned, looking genuinely surprised. My cheeks warmed as I turned my attention to my food. I almost wished this dinner would hurry up and end.

∞∞∞

After dinner, the guys headed back out to the barn, Savannah went up to her bedroom, and mom and I cleared the dishes and took them to the kitchen. We worked in silence for the most part, putting the leftover food in Tupperware dishes and placing them in the fridge.

"Are we handwashing these or putting them in the dishwasher?" I asked after I scraped the last of the mashed potatoes into a plastic bowl.

"You can stack them in the dishwasher," my mother said, sticking the pitcher of tea in the fridge. "So you're over Steve, huh?"

"Yep," I said, keeping my eyes away from hers.

"I see. Does it have anything to do with your roommate?"

I turned and looked at her, my brows knitted in confusion. "What makes you say that?" I asked.

"Because just a few weeks ago, you looked as if you were on the verge of another breakdown the day we saw him in court. It's completely fine if you've moved on, darling. O'Shea seems like a nice guy."

"Yeah, well, that isn't the case. I've just seen Steve for who he really is and can now say I've dodged a bullet," I replied with a shrug, although it wasn't entirely true. It did seem the more feelings I developed for O'Shea, the more I loosened my grip on the residual feelings I had for Steve. Even when the bar fight happened, I was more embarrassed than I was upset. But I was embarrassed of what he'd said to O'Shea, thinking that my drama with my stupid ex was going to cause him to run away. But to see that he instead fought for me was what brought tears to my eyes.

My mom walked over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Ashton, do you remember that I gave birth to you and know you inside and out?" she mused. I fiddled with the roll of plastic wrap, unable to meet her eyes. "You wear your heart on your sleeve. That's what I always admired about you. But it also makes me scared for you too because it makes it easier for you to be hurt. I was just telling your father that I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you end up together. You both have chemistry that it seems like neither of you are admitting to each other."

I shook my head. "It's too complicated right now."

"If you're over Steve, why is it complicated?"

"Because he had a bad breakup, too," I admitted in a whisper. "He proposed to his ex and she rejected him in front of everyone. So he told me that he wasn't looking for anything right now. I don't want to tell him how I feel if it's just going to backfire in my face."

She rubbed my back and gave me a sad smile. "Sometimes you just have to take a risk, honey. The worst he can say is no."

"But I can't handle no right now." Tears burned my eyes as my insecurities rose to the surface. As much as I liked him, I couldn't handle another rejection. I didn't want to feel as if I wasn't good enough for him because he thought I was damaged from my past relationship. I didn't want to feel as if he were going to hold the decisions of his ex against me. I couldn't blame him for how he felt; he probably thought I was doing the same thing to him.

"There's no rush right now. I'm sure you two are still getting used to each other," she said with a small smile. I willed myself not to blush. Oh, we've been getting used to each other, all right.

∞∞∞

O'Shea and I thanked my parents for dinner and finally left the house later that evening. The gravel crunched under our feet as we walked over to his truck. The summer air was humid, little breeze in the air as the grasshoppers chirped and the horses neighed in the distance.

"Tonight was cool," he said as we walked.

"Yeah, it was."

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