Page 18 of The Teacher
He leads me to a girl who I recognize from the senior class. I’m pretty sure her name is Mary. She has jet-black hair cropped close to her head on the bottom and shaggy on the top, falling into her eyes. She’s wearing a hoodie sweatshirt zipped up to her neck, and she’s got a spiral notebook open in front of her, with a page covered in angry black scrawl and half-finished drawings of skeletons. She scowls when she sees me.
“Hi, Mary,” I say, hoping she’ll be impressed that I know her name.
The girl doesnotlook pleased. “It’sLotus. Not Mary. Do I look like a Mary to you?”
That feels like a rhetorical question, but even so, Ishake my head no. I’m still pretty sure her real name is Mary, but I’ll call her Lotus if she wants me to.
“Lotus, I’d like you to show Addie the ropes here,” Mr. Bennett tells her. “Also, Addie has a phenomenal poem she submitted in my class.” He winks at me. “I feel like it might be first page material.”
It was probably the wrong thing to say in terms of endearing me to this hostile girl, but at the same time, the praise makes my knees wobble. I’ve always been a mediocre student, and this might be the first time in my life that I have ever felt like maybe I’m good at something.
I can just imagine telling my mom that I want to be a poet. She would have a stroke.
I drop down into the desk next to Lotus/Mary. She doesn’t seem thrilled, but she reluctantly turns to look at me. “So let’s see this poem,” she says.
I dig around in my backpack and pull out the two-inch binder that contains most of my papers from school. I’ve always been organized, and I love dividing my work with color-coded tabs. I flip to the English section and immediately locate the poem about my father, which I don’t mention is the best of dozens of angry poems I’ve written about him over the years.
I hand it over to Lotus, who scans the page with narrowed eyes. She’s wearing black eye makeup that reminds me of Cleopatra. When she finishes, she comments, “This is really dark.”
I’m not sure if it’s a compliment or not. “I know.”
“Is this, like, real?”
I nod slowly.
Lotus lets out a low breath. “Okay, well, it’s pretty good. Maybe needs a little work. Mr. Bennett will helpwith that. He gives good suggestions. And, you know, I can help too. Like you have sort of a color theme going here with the blood coming out of her face, but you could push it even more. More colors, you know?”
I nod vigorously. “Yes, totally.”
She gives me a long look. “Aren’t you the one who hooked up with Mr. Tuttle?”
I flinch. “No.”
“Yeah, you are. Addie Severson, right?”
“Right, but…” I nibble on the tip of my thumbnail. “Nothing happened. It was all a misunderstanding.”
“Okay, then how come he got fired?”
I get a jab of guilt in my chest. It’s all my fault, but there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I could say to make it right again. “I don’t know.”
“He’s pretty gross.” She starts scribbling listlessly in her spiral notebook. She has drawn a pair of crossbones, and she outlines them again and again. “I don’t know how you could do that withhim. Like,anyonewould be better.”
“Right. I didn’t.”
She shrugs like she doesn’t believe me. For a moment, I thought maybe Lotus could be a friend, but I’m not sure anymore. My reputation is too tainted, which is why I was so desperate to change schools. Maybe it’s not too late. Maybe I could swap to a different school in the spring.
But then I look up, and Mr. Bennett is across the room. I catch his eye, and he gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. I imagine telling him that I’m leaving Caseham High, and I imagine his disappointment.
But really, what gives me the confidence to stay is the set of Kenzie’s keys in my pocket.
Chapter Sixteen
EVE
When Nate getshome from work tonight, he’s in a good mood.
He’s whistling when he walks in the door, and even though it’s not one of our three designated kiss times, he strides over to where I’m sitting on the sofa and lays one on my cheek. But I know from prior experience not to get too excited.
