Page 42 of Deal with the Devil

“We will reschedule. Have a bath. Eat soup. Sleep.”

“Thanks, Mama. Tell Dad I love him.”

“Love you, baby.”

“Love you too.”

I disconnect and stand on shaking knees as I look at the men who watch me cautiously. My hands knot nervously in front of my belly, and I stammer, “I—I’m so cold, guys. I’m going to go take a bath. Again I’m—I’m so sorry.”

Without another word, I flee.

nineteen

Nevaeh

When I get out of the bath, the guys are gone and it’s just Kane. He’s standing in the living room window, staring out at the cliff and the dark sea beyond, the picture of both ignited only by the light of the half moon. The lights inside are turned low and there’s a tension in his shoulders that I know I’d never be able to rub away.

Before I came into his life, I imagine he had women in and out of this place. I imagine he was happy and carefree and without the stress of my suddenly crazy life.

Guilt settles heavy in my belly where fear lived onlymoments before. My entire bath, I’d been unable to battle away the fear that video and the memories of my attack had brought raging to the surface. I’d stayed in the water until the water turned cold, then re-poured the bath with new hot water and waited until that water turned cold.

Still, I’d failed at settling myself. At banishing the fear.

If I knew it’d only take looking at Kane to make it go away, I’d have exited the bath sooner. Still, as I slowly cross the space between us, I think I might prefer the fear to the punishing weight of my guilt.

I stop behind him, feeling so much smaller than usual.

“I’m sorry, Kane.”

He turns slowly, his eyes taking me in from tip to toe. Even in the hot bath, I hadn’t been able to stop the chill. Outside, it had been nearly unbearable, so I’d dressed in the jammies I usually reserve for the cooler months. Thick pink cotton pants and a matching long sleeve button up shirt with little white daisies printed liberally into the fabric.

My damp hair hangs around my shoulders and my face is scrubbed clean of makeup. I’m as plain as plain gets, and yet the man looks at me like I plucked the sun from the sky and hold it cupped between my hands.

I don’t understand him. I don’t understand why hewanted to do this with me—take me and all my problems on.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Nevaeh.”

“This is a lot, Kane. I’m—a lot. I understand completely that today things got very—well—bad. I can leave?—”

“You’re not leaving.” The harsh bark of his non-negotiable tone makes me flinch.

“I—” My hands are knotting nervously again. His drop to where they twist over my belly and his jaw clenches. Nerves flip in my belly like fish out of water. I whisper, “You’re angry.”

“Yes.”

Ouch.Why does that hurt so much?

“You’ve tried to help me, and I’m so thankful for it. Youhavehelped me. You’ve made me feel so safe, Kane. I don’t wake up anymore in the night from my nightmares.” The hard in his jaw gets even harder, and I think maybe he’s going to grind his teeth to dust. “But this is more than you bargained for, I know. I understand that it’s too much. We’re in over our heads and I—I can find somewhere else to go so you can move on with your life.”

He steps closer, invading my space and that contradicting smell of him, the spice of flame at night and a cool winter forest. My mind short-circuits when he growls. Yes, growls. There’s no other word for the sound the man makes.

“We made a deal, Nevaeh.”

“I—I know.” I hurry to explain, “I’m just trying to let you out of it.”

“I don’t want out. I need a wife, and you’re it.”

“You can find another wife.” It can’t be that hard. The man’s a rockstar, after all.

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