Page 64 of Touched By Destiny

All this time Gabriel had convinced himself he was hiding his relationship with Eric from two people who’d rescued him and entrusted him with their most precious treasures—their children. In a flash, he realized he was kidding himself. Ericdiscovering his true nature was far scarier than making their relationship public.

“You just went white—what are you thinking?” Eric asked gently.

“I’m thinking you deserve to know the real me,” Gabriel whispered as a tear slid down his cheek. “For fifteen years, I did nothing more than fuck pretty boys, get facials, and work on my golf game while my necro hunted people like you. Not once did I question where he went or even what he did during the day. I was too self-absorbed with partying, shopping, and not bothering to find any purpose in my existence. But that’s not the worst of it. I helped, Eric. Whether I was there for each death I don’t know, but those calls in the dead of night to bury a corpse happened far too often. I didn’t question it when he told me he was protecting necromancers and the people they resurrected. I’d grab a shovel and be grateful I had someone like Samael watching out for us non-humans. All I thought about was me. That’s who I am.”

“No,” Eric stated forcefully as he brushed away the wetness beneath Gabriel’s eye. “You were granted a life of privilege, and you enjoyed it. The world is filled with stories of people who loved the wrong person. Evil people who hid their true nature. Instead of blaming Samael, you’ve taken the responsibility for his crimes. He chose to hurt those people. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. You helped him because he asked. Because you trusted him. Because he was your family. I don’t care that you buried the dead. They were given at least some dignity, and their lives were lost because of Samael. Their blood is on his hands alone.”

Gabriel shook his head. “I was the only one who could stop him.”

“And you did.”

“Fifteen years too late.”

“No,” Eric retorted, scooting closer and tugging Gabriel into his arms. His hands smoothed across the muscles of Gabriel’s back in soothing circles. Gabriel clung to him and wept. “That isn’t what happened.”

“I was there. I was a monster just like him.”

“No,” Eric repeated. “The minute you learned the truth, you ended it.”

“Yeah, real heroic shit. I shot my necro in the heart.”

“Do you feel guilty that it hurt? That you loved him?”

It was something Gabriel had never said aloud, but he nodded against Eric’s shoulder. “I did love him, but I had no choice. Not in that moment. I thought I could save that boy. But even if I’d known he was already dead, I still would’ve taken that shot. Because Samael was proud. The boy’s blood was soaking the ground. His parents were shrieking in pain and horror. And that asshole was bragging about how he’d dedicated his life to killing the destiny-touched. I never saw that side of him before. He pointed out how I’d helped. How my guilt was as great as his.”

“I’m so sorry,” Eric said, pushing a hand into Gabriel’s hair and kissing his cheek so tenderly a fresh wave of tears wet Gabriel’s lashes. “I know you don’t think of it this way, but you were a victim too. Not just because of the gunshot, but also because you lost someone you loved that day. You didn’t know his true self. You were there for him because that’s the kind of person you are. Without question, you did what he asked. He didn’t deserve a faithful friend and family member like you. Every memory you shared with him grew tainted in that instant. Your life turned out to be a lie because he deceived you at every turn.”

“Fuck, how did you get to be so smart?”

“I don’t know if I am, but I think what you need is to forgive yourself. You believe you could’ve figured out what was going on, but you weren’t meant to.”

Gabriel released a shaky breath. “I loved him, and I hated him.”

“And you fucking deserved better than him,” Eric said, his voice resonating with anger.

“I didn’t want you to know the full truth about my life before.”

“Did you honestly think it would change the way I feel about you?”

Although Gabriel hated to lose his comfort, he forced himself to lift his head. Eric’s blue eyes blazed with a mixture of anger, compassion, and something else Gabriel couldn’t name, but it was tender and went far beyond friendship.

“In your mind, you want to make me a hero. I need you to understand that I wasn’t. I did things I shouldn’t have. I made giant mistakes, and lives were lost because it took me fifteen years to put the pieces together,” Gabriel said.

“I disagree. In a split second, you had a decision to make, and you chose the welfare of a child over the only family you’d ever known. It doesn’t matter that he was a murdering fuckhead. You’d just learned that. Like I said, you gave him unswerving loyalty, and he abused it.”

“He was so delighted about it. I wanted to vomit. And some part of me wanted to kill him even before he shot me. Because I hated him that day. I hated him for every body I’d helped bury. For the darkness I’d unwittingly added to my soul.”

Eric pressed his mouth to Gabriel’s and kissed him softly. Something about that sweet caress helped drag Gabriel from the past and soothe the ragged edges of those memories that would forever haunt him. It was relief, Gabriel realized. Eric wouldn’t turn from him despite the fact that Gabriel had trusted thewrong man—despite the fact he’d sat idly by for a decade and a half as destiny-touched people lost their lives. Despite the fact he’d picked up a shovel and not asked the right questions.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Gabriel said against his lips. “But I’m so fucking grateful to be with you. I can’t imagine anyone else as my soulmate.”

With a smile, Eric caressed his cheek, and his gaze went dreamy, just the way Gabriel loved. “I’m not sure what I did to deserve you either, and there’s no one else I’d want as my soulmate.”

Needing to reassure himself that he wasn’t going to lose Eric, Gabriel held him tight again. This time…this time, Gabriel loved exactly the right person.

Chapter 27

The holidays had snuck up on Eric. It’d come as a complete shock to him when his mother and David had ordered everyone to help trim the giant tree in the living room. Uncle Alden hadn’t been there, but Maribeth had gushed with enthusiasm about her father’s new house, his girlfriend, and her brothers.

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