On the inside, I was smiling because things like this reminded me even more of my time with Dottie, but on theoutside, I was a man on a mission, ready to stop the flames before they caused too much damage.

As I pulled my fire-resistant boots on, I found myself chuckling. I had become someone so different that I don’t think I’d be able to recognize myself anymore if I were strong enough to look at my own reflection and try.

I nodded at our fire captain as I climbed into the truck and found a seat in the back. There was no more time to think of how I used to be and focus on the man that I had become.

We arrivedon the scene quickly and that was attributed to the sirens blaring on the way to the vineyard.

My breath caught in my throat when I watched the inferno raging and knew that there would be nothing we could save. We would have to do our best regardless, but all hope was lost.

When I climbed out of the truck, I walked to the edge of the vineyard and became transfixed by the colors of the night sky, painted so beautifully by an unknown artist and I felt a yearning in my heart for the good ole days.

“Brenton! What the fuck are you doing?” the captain barked at me. I lingered for a few more moments just to be able to inhale the scent of the freshly set fire, then went back to the truck.

I couldn’t be Cedar Brenton, fourteen years old and newly arrived for some reformation of the toughest kind.

I had to be Cedar Brenton, twenty-four years old, the man that stopped the fires and no longer started them.

As I began to unravel the heavy hose from the side of the truck, I found myself wondering how much longer I would be able to last living the lie I had become.

Part Three

Dottie

Chapter

Seven

Ifollowed the woman when she left Cedar’s home. I didn’t know that he had so easily replaced me, and I had thought that maybe instead of trying to become like the hero I missed, that I’d be brave and knock on his door instead.

Because he had been on the news and hailed as a local hero, his information was easy enough for me to find online.

I just didn’t know that he had someone, and it sparked something inside of me.

I guess it could be compared to the fires I’d watch him start, but only if they were all meshed together attempting to destroy more than just nature and buildings made of brick and stone.

I followed her in my car to the grocery store. She picked out things I had never heard of before in the fanciest fucking store I had ever been in. I felt like I didn’t belong when I pulled into the parking lot, but I was onto her game.

She didn’t love Cedar—not like I used to—she was just using him for his money, and I had to find a way to make it stop.

But I allowed her to walk up and down the aisles and waste his money because it was obviously something that he was willing to let her do.

Cedar was always a bit of a pushover when it came to females, though I had hoped it really was only when it came to me. I couldn’t recall a time I had seen him in the company of another girl, so I knew that it wasn’t fair to make such an assumption, but there was nothing else that would make sense.

Especially not the longer I followed her on her day out.

After the grocery store, she drove to a strip mall, and I continued dutifully behind her.

It was another place I felt like I didn’t belong in and again, refused to let it stop me.

As she walked through the store, glancing at the overpriced clothes, and then stopping by the jewelry counter, I could feel the ire as it rose inside of me.

What had become of Cedar that he let someone run so freely with his hard earned money? It scared me to think that the man I had been waiting so desperately for would be nothing like the boy I once knew.

It hurt me as much as it fascinated me, and I knew that the only way to get the answers I was looking for would be to follow her back home.

Chapter

Eight