Page 33 of Agony

“Foryou. It must be obvious, Arsen. If I didn’t feel strongly for you, I never would’ve let this get this far. You know what? I have a great idea! Why don’t I get into porn too and then we can both be happy,” I suggested sarcastically.

“No way. I wouldn’t share you with anybody,” he said, shaking his head.

“Likewise,” I replied through gritted teeth.

Maybe now he would understand where my feelings were with his “job.”

He looked at me with hurt eyes. I knew that essentially I was asking him to quit his job for me, but I couldn’t be involved physically and emotionally with an adult movie star.

“So where do we go from here?” he asked quietly.

“You go home. And I will too,” I replied with a heavy sigh.

“What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

“I mean, I’m moving back east. I can’t do this anymore. California is beautiful, but I miss New York. I’ve been wanting to go home for a while now.”

“Neve, you can’t just leave!” he exclaimed.

I turned my head slowly to look at him.

“Why not?” I asked quietly.

Arsen moved to sit next to me, closing the wide gap that I had left during the movie. He took my hands and intertwined his fingers in mine.

“Because we just officially got together. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us not to see where this could go,” he repeated, looking into my eyes.

My heart was screaming ‘I’ll stay with you,’but my mind was also screaming at me. It was saying, ‘Can you really stay with a man that has sex with other women?’

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment.

I had never had a man tell me that he loved me before and for some reason he sent shock waves through me.

I opened my eyes again and looked at Arsen. He looked completely hopeless and somewhat broken.

“I need time to think about this. I need to know if this is something I can live with.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need so long as you promise that you won’t leave without telling me what you decide,” he said.

I nodded and he pulled me into a tight embrace. I put my head on his shoulder and a tear escaped down my face and onto his bare chest. He reached up his hand and lifted my chin to look at him.

“Can I stay tonight? I promise not to try anything sexual. I just want to be able to hold you in my arms and watch you fall asleep.”

I sniffled and nodded again. He leaned down and kissed me softly on my lips. Arsen pulled me off of the couch and we went into the bedroom again. I laid down on the side of the bed closest to the window and he laid down behind me. He pulled the blankets up over us and pulled me close to him. I wrapped an arm around his waist and closed my eyes.

I fell asleep to Arsen’s soft lips against my forehead and his hands gently caressing my back.

ChapterEight

Iwoke up the next morning still wrapped in Arsen’s arms. I smiled at him as he slept. I was more than a little shocked that after only a few days of getting to know each other we agreed on the fact that this was something worth trying for, but to be honest, it feltright.

I shimmied out of his arms and went to check my phone. With any luck Adesynne was awake and not freaking out.

I saw that I had five text messages waiting for me and they were all from her. Primarily she was making sure I was okay.

And still pure.

I sent her a three page text message of what happened when we got back last night and put my phone down.

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