Page 14 of Always You

We listen to the guy’s long, drawn-out instructions. Theycould have been cut ten minutes shorter if he would stop trying to be so funny. Ellis gives him courtesy laughs in all the right places, because she’s nice like that. I just want to scream that we aren’t here for a comedy show and to get on with it. Give me the pertinent information so I don’t have to hear his weaselly voice anymore.

Finally, he finishes his monologue, and I realize that I didn’t actually hear half of what he said because I was so busy being annoyed with him. Now I want to punch my own face, because I either have to look like an idiot and ask him to repeat what he’s already said, or I can look like an idiot and do everything all wrong. Option two is looking like the way to go, as it involves less interaction with the butt-staring pervert.

“Oh, hold on, guys. I’m just going to run and grab my water bottle real quick,” the instructor says. He runs off, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I scoot in closer to Ellis and beg her to give me a quick rundown of everything he said in his comedy special.

“You were standing right here when he was going over it. Weren’t you listening?” she asks in disbelief. She shakes her head as if she can’t believe I don’t remember everything.

“Of course I was listening. I just want to make sure you were listening,” I say, but she clearly doesn’t buy it. And why would she? She’s not an idiot.

“Ha! Right!” She goes over everything she remembers. There are a few things she’s forgotten, but that’s okay. She seems to remember most of it. I definitely know more now than I did a minute ago. She’s explaining how to lower yourself back down when ol’ smarmy face returns with his unnecessarily gigantic water bottle. What? Is he about to go on a ten-day backpacking trip with that thing?

Ellis turns to him and says, “Landon, can you explain how to get back down again for Josiah?” I nudge her side with myelbow just enough to let her know I didn’t want her to rat me out to the guy. She doesn’t even sway to the side.

“What?” she turns to me and asks in outrage. “You said you couldn’t remember what he said, and he can explain it way better than I can. This is his job!” Crap! Now I’m in the doghouse.

“Sorry,” I grumble under my breath so only she can hear. Landon, I guess his name is, looks terribly smug. I swear this guy gets worse and worse with each passing minute.

Landon repeats the instructions, quickly this time, and then we’re ready to get started climbing. Ellis gets everything attached and ready to go, and then she shoves her phone in my hands. It’s already recording. Right. All of this is being documented to be put online later. Just great. Maybe I can ask her not to put me in the video?

“Make sure you hold it steady so I can post it on my socials,” she says. I hold the phone up and focus on staying perfectly still. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining her first post. I’d like to watchher, but I keep my eyes glued to the phone screen. At least I can still see her, even if it is through the screen.

She takes a deep breath, reaches for the first rock, and hoists herself up off the ground. She climbs higher and higher, slow and steady. She takes a few breaks to catch her breath and figure out where she wants to go next, but she’s doing great. She makes it up halfway in a shorter amount of time than I expected. She looks focused but not unhappy at all. It looks like she likes it more than she thought she would.

“She’s a natural,” Landon says next to me, staring up at her. My only response is a grunt. I don’t want to talk to him. I especially don’t want to talk about Ellis with him. I want to cover his eyes so he can’t check her out anymore, but I remind myself that he has to watch her to make sure she’s safe. I wanther to be safe, so I guess I’m okay with him staring at her for now, even though I know he’s simultaneously staring at her backside. I have a love-hate relationship with those shorts.

Ellis makes it about two-thirds of the way up the wall before she calls it quits and comes down. She has a smile on her face, so it must not be too bad.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” she says in a breathless voice. She sits on the ground in a tired heap and shakes out her hands and arms before lying back on the floor.

I guess now it’s my turn. How sturdy are these harnesses? I’m a big guy. Can it really hold me up? Let’s hope this doesn’t end with me falling to my death. I bounce around on the balls of my feet for a second, checking the mats on the floor. They’re pretty squishy. It’ll help break my fall a little. I’ll probably just break something.

I hand Ellis her phone, hoping she doesn’t record me, and Landon helps me get set up to climb. A minute later, I begin working my way up the wall. And it’s so hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I mean, I knew it would be hard, but how did Ellis make it look so easy? I can barely hang on to these little rocks. Why couldn’t we be on that other, shorter wall where the rocks are a little bigger? Don’t they know we’re beginners? Hoisting my body up each time I go to a new rock feels like I’m pulling a boulder up a mountain. I’m only a quarter of the way up, and I already want to call it quits.

My arms are starting to shake, and the sweat that keeps dripping into my eyes is creating quite the challenge. I swipe it with the back of my arm for the fourth time before continuing up the wall. I don’t have to make it to the top, but I’d like to make it at least halfway. Originally, I was aiming to get as far as Ellis just so I don’t feel like a wimp, but I’ve already given up on that goal. I have no problem admitting that Ellis is better at this than I am. Landon is going to laugh at me for sure,though, and I do have a problem with that. It’s honestly the only thing that’s keeping me going right now.

I can hear him and Ellis talking down below, and my blood is boiling. Is he even watching me to make sure I’m okay? I turn and glance at them for a second. He’s looking right at Ellis. I ought to fall off this wall right now, just so he’d learn a lesson about doing his job properly.

I look down at them again, and it’s a mistake. I notice how far down the ground is below me, and my stomach dips. I know from looking up that I am not high up on this wall, but from this angle, it looks high. Ellis is holding her phone up, recording me and this embarrassing display of non-athleticism. I will be deleting that video later. There’s no way I’m letting her post my struggle online for millions of strangers. Nobody needs to see this. I will stomp on her phone if I have to in order to keep this moment private—well, as private as it can be with a gym full of people around us.

I look up again, and it looks like miles and miles of wall looming ahead of me. Every muscle in my body is tensed, and everything in me rebels at the idea of going farther. I can’t do it. I go down, and the first thing I hear is Landon say, “It’s okay, Big Guy. All the massive guys have a hard time climbing.”

“I hate you,” I say as I lie back on the floor, dripping sweat all over the dusty mats.

8

Ellis

I take a sip of my Dr. Pepper and watch Josiah in the seat across from me. He has barely said a word since we left the climbing gym twenty minutes ago. We rode here to the diner in complete silence because I had no idea what to say to him to make this tense situation better. I still have no idea. I’ve only seen him worked up like this a handful of times, and I’ve always found that it’s best to just let him work through it on his own.

His face is a hard mask of frustration. I’m not really sure what he is so mad about. He was bad at rock climbing. I mean, like, really bad at it. It was actually hilarious watching him try to climb up that wall. But so what? He’s good at literally everything else. The guy normally makes athleticism look like his God-given right. It was kind of nice seeing him fail at something so epically. It lets the rest of us mere mortals know that we’re doing okay.

Our instructor, Landon, even said it wasn’t his fault that hewas bad at it. His size was working against him. I can’t imagine trying to haul two hundred pounds straight up a wall. No thanks! But that was what Josiah was doing. So, rock climbing isn’t going to be his new favorite sport. It’s not a big deal.

If anyone should be annoyed right now, it’s me. We were supposed to go climb some rocks together and have a great time. We should have been laughing and joking together about how awful we were the whole time. This was never about being good at something. It was meant to be something we experienced together, and if we ended up loving it, then great! We found a new hobby!

Instead, I was forced to look at Josiah’s scowling face for an hour while pretending everything was fine and normal. I’ve never seen him act like that before. It was so embarrassing. I imagine it’s how parents of angsty teens feel when they have to deal with major attitude in public. But I’m not Josiah’s mom, and Josiah isn’t an angsty teenager anymore! He’s a grown man. I shouldn’t be forced to deal with his mood swings. I even spent the last few minutes at the gym profusely apologizing to Landon for Josiah’s grumpiness. Thankfully, Landon handled everything well, claiming he wasn’t offended, proving how nice he is.

“So, are you going to tell me what has your undies in a bunch?” I ask in a clipped tone, making sure he knows I’m not pleased with how today has gone. I take another sip of my Dr. Pepper, keeping my eyes glued to him the whole time. I need to gauge his reaction so I’ll know how hard to push the issue. He rolls his eyes and repositions his body so that his back is leaning against the window. His legs are so long that his feet dangle over the edge of the seat.

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