Page 21 of Always You

“You can’t just leave this mess!” she hollers, and I do feel bad about that. But I know she’d just yell at me for washing the pots wrong, and I can’t listen to her yell anymore.

“Run faster! I think she’s chasing us with a butcher knife!” Valerie screams.

One of my sandals flies off my foot, but I leave it rather than risk being caught by the terrifying woman. It’s a shame. It was one of my favorites. Maybe I can come back tomorrow, and it’ll still be here waiting for me.

We make it out to the parking lot, and we collapse onto the pavement in a heap of laughter. I haven’t run like that in years, and it shows. I can hardly catch my breath. Valerie, however, looks like she’s just been out for a leisurely stroll. I bet her heart rate isn’t even elevated. Curse her and her athletic genes. She teaches yoga and Pilates for a living, so I guess she’s put in the work. I’ve always thought yoga sounded awful, but now that I’ve been in a situation where I had to “run for my life,” I see the benefits of getting regular exercise.

“Do you want to go get burgers?” I ask. The plan was to eat whatever we cooked tonight, and I’ve been starving since the very beginning of that class.

“Yes, please!” Valerie says. She hops up from the ground and holds out a hand to help me up.

The pub is packed, as usual. It’s one of the only decent places to get dinner in Oak Grove. I just hope we don’t have to wait for a table, or I might have to resort to stealing the bowl of mints at the exit to tide me over. It’s either that or eating at the less desirable “Italian/ Chinese” restaurant that doesn’t succeed at either of the two types of cuisine it attempts to sell. I ordered egg rolls from there once out of desperation… There was ricotta cheese and cabbage inside. I immediately spat it out in a napkin and hid the evidence.

I think the original plan was to sell Italian food and Chinese food, but somewhere along the way, they decided to switch it up and combine the two into one unique (and repulsive) dining experience. The only reason they’re still in business is because people like to see what new torture they’ll put out next. It’s like a game for the locals. If you manage to eat it without barfing, you become a local legend. The middle school and high school boys are the main competitors in the game.

The hostess informs us that there are no available tables, and it’s looking like it’ll be a thirty-minute wait. I groan and hold my aching belly. What’s it going to be? Eat my own arm? Or risk it all with the Chinese/Italian? Who could possibly choose with such appealing options?!

Right when I’m about to give in to despair, I hear a faint, “Ellis! Valerie!” called out from across the restaurant. Valerie and I both turn and see Josiah and Caleb sitting together at a table—a table that seats four. I turn to Valerie and give her a pleading look. I know she’s not the biggest fan of Caleb, so I give her my very best pouty face, complete with the lip, to try and convince her. No one can say no to a pouty lip! Surely she can put my stomach’s needs first just this once.

“Just go,” she groans. I rush over to the table, and then it hits me. All the inner turmoil I’ve been experiencing for the past week rushes back when Josiah and I make eye contact. I had momentarily forgotten everything in my desperation for food, but now my hunger is replaced with a deep, nervous pit in my stomach. Caleb bites his lip in between his teeth as he looks at the two of us, so I assume he’s seen the video and the comment section.

Oh, the comment section. I wonder what Josiah thinks of that. Or actually, no. I think I’d rather be forced to stand infront of a crowd of thousands and burp the alphabet than find out that he’s mortified and trying to figure out a way to let me down gently. What if I and everyone else misinterpreted that look in his eye? What if I just spent an entire week overanalyzing everything for no reason?

Okay, I just need to act casual. Normal. As if I’m not sitting here rethinking the entirety of our twenty-six years of friendship.

There’s actually nothing going on in this head of mine. Thanks for asking.

I sit down in the chair next to Josiah, pick up a menu, hold it in front of my face, and tune out everything around me. I don’t even need this menu because I’ve had the whole thing memorized since I was eight years old. I already know that I want the bacon cheeseburger with extra pickles and sweet potato fries on the side.

Josiah chuckles at something beside me, so I lower my menu to see what’s so funny. Valerie and Caleb are elbowing each other in the sides like petulant siblings being forced to sit next to each other in the backseat of the car on a twelve-hour road trip. They’re both well-adjusted, mature adults…until they’re around each other. I don’t think I’ll ever understand them.

“What’s your problem?” Caleb asks.

“Your beefy arms are taking up all the space. They’re probably still coated in a thick layer of sweat from all the hours you spend at the gym,” Valerie says. She has a disgusted look on her face, as if she’s imagining his sweat getting on her. I bite my lips and put my menu back up to hide my laugh.

Josiah nudges me with his arm, and I try to pretend that I don’t notice. Like it was just an accidental brush against me since we’re sitting so close to each other. Now that I think of it, why are we so close? This table is plenty big enough for us tospread out a little, but we’re so close I can practically feel the body heat radiating from him. Did he move closer since I sat down? I’m tempted to scoot even closer and cuddle up next to him, but we’re in public. This isn’t his living room. And I shouldn’t want to cuddle with him anyway. I’m supposed to be repressing all these urges and feelings, not giving in to them!

He rests his arm on the back of my chair and leans in toward me. His shaggy hair brushes my cheek, and his breath on my ear sends a shiver down my spine.

“Why are you hiding behind that menu?” he asks in a quiet, deep voice that sends sparks shooting down my spine. Dang it. Why does he have to know me so well? A girl should have some secrets from the men in her life.

“I’m not hiding. I’m just trying to see if they have any new items that I didn’t know about,” I say, shifting away from him slightly so I can look at his face. Gosh, it’s a good face. Tan, smooth skin; warm, brown eyes that look like they hold the secrets of the universe in their depths; a square jaw that leads to a thick neck. I’ve never spent very much time thinking about Josiah’s looks. Probably because he’s just always been there, right in front of me. It’s a face I’ve known for so long that I don’t have to stop to think about it. But after reading all those comments from all those girls, it’s hard not to stop and take stock. I’ve always known he’s attractive. How could I not know? But I’ve never had one moment where his attractiveness just hit me like a ton of bricks. But it kind of is now.

We both take a moment to look at each other. My gaze roves over his whole face. He sits quietly and allows me to study him. And study him I do. And I like what I’m seeing. There’s a curious look in his eyes, and I want to press my palm to his cheek to ease whatever worries him. I lift my hand fromthe table but then drop it onto my lap before I can embarrass myself in front of half the town.

“You know that menu hasn’t changed since 1987,” he says with a smirk on his face. He knows he’s getting to me, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I snap the menu closed, put it back in the holder on the side of the table, and turn to Valerie across from me. I try to pretend that Josiah isn’t sitting right next to me and focus on the conversation we’re having, but of course, I’m attuned to every little move Josiah makes, every word he utters to Caleb, every glance he slides my way. My eyes stay straight ahead, however. He asks for a napkin? I slide it over without taking my eyes off Valerie’s face as she talks about an overly affectionate couple that attended her couples yoga class yesterday.

“Like, yes, we’re glad y’all love each other, but let’s keep the make-out sesh at home,” she says in an animated voice. Caleb rolls his eyes and says, “If you can make out while doing yoga, then it’s not a real workout.” I can tell by Valerie’s posture that it takes all of her self-control to not turn and punch Caleb in the jaw. I’m so proud of her. A year ago, she probably would have given in to the temptation.

Our food finally arrives, and I scarf my burger down in record time. Partly because I’m so hungry, and partly because I need to wrap this torture session up and get the heck out of here. Who knew I was fleeing one torture just to wind up in another?! I need to get myself home so I can stare at my bedroom ceiling and decompress from this whole night. It’s been a disaster from start to finish.

I slurp down the last few drops of my Dr. Pepper and say, “Are you ready to go, Val?” She looks up from her plate of food with her mouth hanging slightly open in surprise.

“Well, I guess,” she says, doing a very poor job at lying tome. She looks at her food longingly, and now I feel bad for rushing her. “I can get a to-go box.”

“No, no. I didn’t realize you weren’t done. I’ll wait. Sorry,” I say. I drum my fingers on the table, trying to dispel my nervous energy. I can feel Josiah’s gaze piercing through me. If he stares any harder, he’s going to burn me with that laser focus. I cross my arms and look in the opposite direction from where Josiah sits, trying to ignore him. I pretend to watch people around the restaurant, but all my attention is on the man sitting beside me.

“I’ll take you home,” Josiah offers, shifting his body so that it’s angled toward me. His long legs are practically surrounding me. My heart accelerates like a race car. I finally brave a glance at him, and he quirks a brow at me as if he knows the inner turmoil going on inside me. He crosses his thick arms over his chest, as if he expects me to put up a fuss or turn him down.

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