Page 71 of Surrender

I bite back the denial because I know it doesn’t matter.

He’ll do what he wants to do to me.

He doesn’t even need justification.

I knew coming here tonight was a risk, but I didn’t think I was meeting him.

I would have had a better idea of my odds if I’d known it would be him.

With his palm resting possessively between my thighs, he has to let go of my face to unbutton my shirt. I could fight him, but there’s little point, so I just close my eyes and refuse to participate.

The cool air hits my flesh when my shirt falls open. Silvan presses a hand against my belly, then slides it around my side and grips my waist.

“I fucking love your body,” he tells me. “The feel of it beneath my fingers. The look of it. Your taste. Every-fucking-thing about it is perfect to me.”

His words send a shiver down my spine.

His hand presses at my waist until I let him move me down the wall closer to the dresser.

“Get on your knees.”

My knees feel weak anyway. I don’t want to, but I don’t want anything worse to happen, so I fall to my knees.

“Such a good girl,” he murmurs, looking down at my teary eyes. He caresses my jaw briefly, then lets go and grabs a condom off the dresser.

I swallow as he holds it out for me to take.

I do, my heart sinking.

He didn’t put a condom on last time he wanted me to suck him. I’m on my knees, so I thought… but maybe…

“Silvan…”

He grabs a small camcorder off the dresser, flipping open the side and removing the lens cap.

I shrink away, unsure what he’s doing.

“Now open it, Sophie.”

My fingers shake as I slowly tear open the foil packet.

I don’t understand why he’s recording me doing it, but I don’t like it.

“Look up at me.”

He’s towering over me. I wonder how vulnerable I must look down here.

His lips tug up, and he presses a button. “That was perfect, baby. You’re such a good girl. Give it to me.”

I do, and confusingly, he puts the open packet on the dresser.

“Now, when I turn this back on, I want you to take off those ripped-up tights and then look up at me.”

I sniffle, shifting my weight to sit on my butt so I can peel off my shoes and the ruined hosiery.

“Perfect. Up on your knees. Unzip me.”

Moisture leaks out of the corner of my eye. I dash it away before getting up on my knees. The hardwood floor is too hard, and the room is too cold. I shiver, my shirt hanging open, but I guess at least it gives me a little coverage.

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