Page 133 of Resisting Mr. Granville

I break away from her to peel my clothes off, and Kennedy turns on the shower.

I steal a glimpse of her as she grabs her girly soaps and shampoos off the counter to bring into the shower.

There’s enough room on the shower shelf for her things and mine, but she still behaves like a visitor and keeps hers separate, as if she might need to pack up and go at any given moment.

“You can keep those in there, you know.”

She looks back at me, startled, clutching the bottles against her chest. “I just didn’t want to hog all your shower space.”

“It’s our shower now, not mine,” I remind her.

“I guess that’s true,” she murmurs, looking at the shelf before stepping inside and arranging her things on it.

It’s a small thing to fixate on, but I feel better once her toiletries live on the shelf next to mine.

Kennedy’s quiet as I follow her into the shower and pass her a washcloth since her hands were full with the soaps. Turning around to face me, I can see she has something to say, but she’s hesitant.

“Everything all right?”

She nods, then looks up at me, a glint of vulnerability in her eyes. “It’s just funny that you addressed that. I know it seems unimportant, but it’s the little things, you know? And you notice them, too. That’s one of the things that almost made me cry when I spent the night in Jonathan’s room.”

Her gaze flickers to me uncertainly. I know she’s probably not sure about bringing that up, but I let her see it doesn’t bother me.

Itcan’tbother me.

Making him off-limits would only foster distance between us, not closeness. For things to get back to normal, Jonathan has to become a non-issue, not a subject she’s careful to avoid.

Not least of all because he lives here and would beimpossibleto avoid.

She’s also a teenage girl, at the end of the day, and while I know she loves me and she’ll be much happier with me than she would be with him, I am a realist. I’m aware of the age gap between us, and that in a sense, I have taken on the guardian’s role in Kennedy’s life.

The absolute worst thing I could do is make Jonathan a forbidden fruit—especially if he was serious about trying to tempt her away from me. I didn’t think he was, but Jonathan can be volatile, and his recent actions make me wonder if he does have a little crush on Kennedy.

I trust her, of course, but I’ve also witnessed the dynamic between them and the dynamic between us. Jonathan is right that Kennedy is sexually submissive at her core. She responds to a dominant man who exhibits the confidence to lead her. She prefers me, but I’m sure she responded to him, too.

Ultimately fine if he bows out now and stays out of the way.

Less fine if he decides to actively try to change her mind.

Since I let him not only establish a sexual dynamic with her, but also be her first, I’ve given him all the tools he needs to confuse her.

I only hope he won’t be that selfish.

I’ve never seen Jonathan serious about a girl before, and I don’t think he’s truly serious about Kennedy, either.

At best, maybe it’s the unfamiliarity of feeling protective over a girl and not knowing where to put her. Kennedy isn’t actually family, so why does he feel protective toward her? Perhaps he has misinterpreted that affection as something romantic—an easy mistake given their sexual experience and the way she triggered a new response from him that no other girl has before. Perhaps there was even a biological element to it when he thought she might be carrying his child. That’s a big fucking deal, whether you’re with the girl or not.

At worst, it’s a pissing contest and he just wants to compete for a prize and emerge the victor. If he succeeded, it wouldn’t be long before they both realized it was a massive mistake. She would end up right back where she was before—crying over me alone in his bedroom.

I love her to death, but I can’t do all that again.

And I won’t have to because I know better than to make a big deal out of it and leave that door open to begin with.

Playing on her submissive tendencies in the bedroom is a different thing. Right now, Kennedy is learning the boundaries of our relationship and her relationship with him, too. They’ll always have one. He’s my son and will always be a part of her life. I want them to have a good relationship, just like I want her to have a good relationship with Jet.

As long as she looks to me to set the boundaries for her, I never have to worry about her going off track.

Part of loving her is protecting her, knowing how to guide her around the potential pitfalls she’s likely to trip and fall into.

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