Page 37 of Only a Kiss

“So you weren’t antisocial this week because you were busy with Sadie; you were avoiding everyone because you were without her.”

I nodded.

“Does Jenna know?”

I shook my head, but then added, feeling like I needed to justify my decision, “She almost caught us together.It was too close.We were playing with fire, and it was better if we ended it when we did.”

He scrutinizes me.“For whom?”

“What?”

“Who was it better for?Because from where I’m standing, you look like shit and are clearly miserable.The fact Sadie was here for a hot second before splitting suggests she’s not doing well with it either.So who exactly was it better for?”

He knew.He had to know, so I didn’t understand why he was going to make me say it.

“I don’t have time for this,” I mumbled.

“Cut the shit, Trav.Who was it better for?I want to hear you say it.”

“Jenna, okay?It was best for Jenna.Is that what you want to hear?”

“See, now here’s where I’m noticing a fatal flaw.Jenna just walked out of here with a huge frown on her face, but she didn’t seem pissed at you, so I’m gonna assume she’s worried about Sadie.So how is that better for her?Did you ever consider just telling her about you and Sadie?”

My eyes bulged, and anger and helpless desperation ripped through me.“Are you fucking kidding me?What would that accomplish?She’d never be okay with it.”

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s not appropriate.I’m her dad and Sadie is her best friend who’s twenty fucking years younger than I am.”

“So it’s the age gap that’s bothering you?”

I slammed my fingers in my hair and looked up to the sky.“I’m not doing this with you right now.”

That helpless desperation clawed at me until I felt like something was crawling beneath my skin.I had to get out of here.

“You’re in charge of this,” I said, and then fast walked into the house, swiped my keys and wallet, and got into my truck.

I was pulling up to Sadie’s apartment building before I even realized it.

I ran up the stairs, two at a time, and then pounded on her door.I heard feet shuffle toward the door but she didn’t open up.My forehead rested on the door while my hands braced on the doorframe, and my eyes closed with how close and yet how far away she felt from me.

“I know you’re in there.Open up, Sadie.Please,” my voice broke on the last word, and maybe that worked in my favor because she opened the door, and my stomach immediately plummeted.Her eyes were red and puffy and filled with the same devastation I’d felt all fucking week.

Wyatt’s question circled my brain.Who was it better for?

We were both in pain and miserable without each other.None of this felt right, but I didn’t know how to have her and not lose my daughter.

She wrapped her arms around herself, so closed off from me, and I hated it with every ounce of my being.

“Sadie,” I whispered, my voice broken and my eyes burning with the threat of my own tears.

A sob ripped from her throat, and I couldn’t take the distance anymore.I stepped forward and wrapped her in my arms as she crumbled against me, soaking my shirt with her tears.I held her tight, shuffling us all the way into her apartment so I could kick the door closed.I dropped kisses to the top of her head, held her tight, and whispered whatever I could think of to soothe her.

Nothing seemed to help.

I swept her up into my arms and moved us to the couch, sitting with her on my lap, but still holding her close as she cried.With every sob and hiccup, she ripped my heart to shreds.

“I’m so sorry, Sadie,” I said, my voice hoarse and ragged.“It wasn’t what it looked like.It was a blind date.I didn’t ask to be set up.Troy thought I needed cheering up because I’d been a mopey bastard all week.I’ve been fucking miserable without you.I can’t stand to see you hurting,” I added, whispering against her hair.

---