Page 17 of Only a Kiss

I glanced down at my cup.“Yeah.”

Her smile fell.“He’s not worth your tears if he can’t see how amazing you are and how lucky he’d be.Don’t give him that kind of power over you.”

“I know you’re right, but that’s so much easier said than done.”It didn’t help that I also wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever.His daughter was my best friend in the whole world.I’d spent more time at his house in the past decade than I spent at my own parents’.It was inevitable that I’d have to see him and pretend like nothing happened.

And that was a big part of the problem.How could I pretend nothing happened when I felt like our night together changed everything for me?

“I know,” she said.And she did.She knew exactly how hard it was to let go of those complicated, twisty feelings, especially after her own heartbreak.

We finished our coffee and went our separate ways, promising to get mani-pedis this weekend.

Instead of going straight home, I decided to take a detour.When I passed Travis’s house, I stopped, parking my car along the curb and staring up at the house I spent so many days in growing up.It looked different now, maybe because I was seeing everything about Travis differently.

I knew I shouldn’t get out of the car.I should’ve driven home, had some wine, and downloaded another dating app to distract me until whatever heartbreak I was feeling disappeared, but I couldn’t.

Instead of doing the smart thing, I got out of my car and walked along the narrow walkway that cut through a beautifully manicured lawn and headed straight toward the modern, dark front door.My finger hovered over the doorbell, and my heart raced chaotically in my chest.I pulled my hand back three times before I finally found the courage to press the doorbell.

“What the fuck are you doing?”I mumbled aloud to myself.This might have been the stupidest thing I’d done in a long time, even dumber than having sex with him in the first place.

But then he opened the door and it didn’t feel stupid at all.The relief at seeing him—at being this close—was instantaneous.Like coming up for air when you’d been underwater for too long.

“Hi,” I said.

His eyes darted between mine, searching for an explanation, but instead of saying anything, he stepped back and opened the door wider.

I walked into the house that was both familiar and suddenly new and spun around when I heard him close the door.

Did I imagine the bags under his eyes or how sad he seemed?Or was he really as affected by all this as I was?

He shoved his hands in his pants pockets.He was wearing suit pants and a white long-sleeved button-down with the sleeves rolled up halfway to his elbows.A tattoo showed on his forearm, and his top two buttons were undone.He looked delicious, and I wished we were different people so I could rip that shirt right off him and devour him right here, showing him that age was just a number and begging him to fuck me.

“Say something,” I whispered.

He shook his head, but his gaze stayed locked on mine.“You first,” he finally said, almost like it was being ripped from his throat.

I opened my mouth several times, but nothing came out.I didn’t really know why I was here, I just knew I couldn’t be anywhere else.

Oh God.Had I turned into that clingy girl?Maybe that was why he wasn’t saying anything because it was so obvious I was inexperienced and he was probably not used to one-night stands following him home.What if I completely misread the torment I thought I saw on his face?

He must’ve seen the panic on my face because he pulled his hands out of his pockets and stepped toward me, but on instinct I stepped back.

“I’m so sorry.I shouldn’t have come.I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I moved to pass him, but he extended his arm, blocking my path and placing his hand on my belly.My gaze shot to his at the contact, and I watched his pupils flare.

“Sadie.”My name had never sounded more tortured as it did when he said it.

He slid his hand around my hip and pulled me until I was flush with his body.His other hand slid along my neck, and my eyes closed at the contact of skin on skin.I loved the way he touched me.Like I was precious and beautiful and perfect.

Like I was his to do whatever he wanted with.

He had no idea how true that was.

“I don’t want to fight this anymore,” he said, his voice hoarse.“Even if I know I should.”

My eyes snapped open.I could see the turmoil and knew it matched mine.At least if we went down, we’d go down together.I was risking so much by pursuing this, but then again so was he, and clearly neither of us could keep fighting this pull to each other.

“Then don’t fight it,” I whispered against his lips right before he sealed his over mine and then there were no more words.

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