Page 100 of In Her Own Rite

“Okay, so you did paysomeattention in school. Translate.”

I think. “‘You cannot tell another soul.’”

“Almost,” he says. “Tryunbeijnkitagain.”

I think. “Different. Separate, unknown.”

“Right,” he says. “Not, ‘you cannot tellanothersoul.’ You cannot tell aseparatesoul. So what does that mean if Em’s soul is a part of you, and if yours is a part of her? If your souls are knit together?”

I think about that night in the library, and the words that slipped out of my mouth.Kiyyuni, from a place in me I couldn’t even consciously reach. It just came out of me, as though some primal placeknew.

“Are you telling me that we’re allowed to tell our mates what we see up there?”

He shrugs. “I’m telling you it’s complicated. It’s all a little mystical, and the earliest records we have of theEijnaare more than a thousand years old. You either believe it or you don’t. But if youdobelieve it, then don’t rule out the full scope of the story. The ancestors believed that you couldn’t tell another soul about the rite, yes. But theyalsobelieved that our souls are tied together. If you tell Em something in good faith, because she needs to hear it to understand you, I don’t think they’ll punish you for that.”

I nod, thinking.

“And if you think about it,” he continues, “if your souls are tied together, a part of her was with you that night, already.”

I look down at my hands, where Em’s black hair tie is still wrapped around my wrist.

“How much did you tell Mare?” I ask finally.

“Not everything. But enough for her to understand.” He swallows. “My rite wasabout, andfor, me. But she made an appearance, in a way, and that shaped the way I acted when we were getting to know each other. When I figured out she was my mate, I owed it to her to explain.”

I bring my head down, resting it in my hands. “I just wanna say I’m sorry, man.”

“To Em?”

“No. To you.”

“What? What for?”

I swallow and look over at him. “For abandoning you before your rite. I left because of shit with Em, but I should have come back to help train you. And I can’t help feeling like, if I’d gotten over myself and come back to help, if I’d been there—”

“Come on, dude. When are you gonna let that shit go?”

His words catch me off-guard. “What?”

“That whole Atlas, carrying-the-weight-of-the-world, thing.” He shakes his head. “It wasn’t your job to save me from my own decisions. My rite was supposed to go the way it went. Ihadto learn those lessons.”

“But if you’d been better prepared, you wouldn’t have ended up like—”

He puts a hand on my back.

“I don’t regret it,” he says firmly. “No, I don’t like living in pain. Yes, I spent years wondering what would have happened if I’d prepared better, or if I hadn’t let them transport me to the mainland for medical care. But I can’t live in regret. I need to see what I have now, and buildforward, instead of staying stuck in the past. Maren taught me that.”

I look up at him, and I feel a knot in my throat.

“You know, I spent years hating myself for what I let happen to you,” I say finally.

“I know,” he says, nodding. “But, no offense dude, my rite wasn’t about you. You’re notthatimportant.”

“Whatever,” I say, letting out a low laugh. He laughs too, and then the air grows still.

“Seriously,” he says, after a minute. “My rite was designed for me to learn a lesson I had to learn. Yeah, I could have prepared better, but that’s not on you. And maybe letting go of all that over-responsibility is part ofyourlesson.”

I give him a look. “So you’re telling me you spied on me in the ring.”

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