Page 46 of In Her Own Rite

“Nah, what are you talking about? What could we have done? There were ten of them, at least.”

“Yeah,” I say, but it doesn’t feel right. “If you need me, you’ll tell me. Okay?”

“That’s not gonna happen. But yeah, okay.”

“Call us if anything changes,” Em says. “And if you need to come here, don’t hesitate.”

“Will do,” Seb says, and we say goodbye and hang up.

“Agaayu,” Em says, curling her knees up to her chest and looking up at me. “It’s so horrible. Why would they do this?”

I set my jaw, thinking.

“You’re worried it’s my dad,” she says.

I nod.

“Kier, you said this morning…” She brings a hand up, twisting a lock of wet hair, trying to find the words. “You said I don’t know what you know. Do you have a real reason to think he’s here?”

“Yeah,” I say. “I think so.”

“Something from the rite?”

“Yeah. But I don’t… I don’t know, with thekattakaand everything. I’m not sure how much of it was the ancestors and how much was my own mind.”

“Saga says you can always trust the spirits,” she says quietly. “You know, Seb told Maren something about his rite. Part of it was about her, somehow. She doesn’t know everything, but she knows some.”

I swallow. Seb can make his own choices, I guess, but the edicts in the ancient books are clear. You can’t tell another soul what you see in the ring. No matter how much I want to.

“I’m not supposed to tell you,” I say. “It fucks me up that I can’t. It doesn’t feel right. But I just need you to trust me.”

“I do,” she says, and takes my hand in hers. She brings it up to her face, eyeing the mark where the cut was last night, and kisses it, running her finger over the hair tie she gave me. “It’s not that. It’s just that I knew that Seb’s rite involved Maren. And when you told me in the library that some part of your rite was about me… it made me hope.” A small smile tugs at her lips.

“Hope what?”

“Hope that maybe I am for you what Maren is for Seb.”

“My mate?” I ask, and pull her close. I want it to be her. I lost myself in the shower, my wolf taking over, imagining how it would be to see her wear my claim on her neck.

“Maybe. Is that crazy?”

“I don’t think so.”

I pull her towards my chest and think about the things I can’t tell her. The words that have kept me up at night, after she falls asleep. The things I wish I didn’t know.

“You can’t save her,you know,” she says. Her voice feels like it’s coming from a thousand miles away and from inside me all at once.

“What?” I ask, woozy.

“Emerson. You know you can’t save her,” she says, stepping closer to me. “No one can. After all, look what happened to me.”

And that’s when I hear the growling behind me.

I turn and stumble backwards as I catch sight of him. The wolf behind me is massive: fur dark gray and matted, his body full of hunger and raw power. His teeth are bared, his head low to the ground as he walks towards me, stalking his prey.

Seb’s advice comes to me fast. Don’t shift too soon, or you’ll break out of your body armor. I stagger back, feeling for the knife strapped to my leg. As soon as I reach it, the wolf lunges, all teeth and claws, and I run out of the way just in time. But he doesn’t reach me. Instead, as I run to the side, he reaches the goddess, tackling her to the floor.

She cries out as he pins her down, his claws bared, his paws pressing down on her forearms. She thrashes against him, crying. And then I hear it.

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