Page 21 of In Her Own Rite

“I…” I run a hand over my face. “Okay, listen, do you know where she is? I want to say sorry.”

“She isn’t feeling well.”

My inner wolf growls in agitation, and I push past her to head for the stairs.

“Stop,” she stays, holding a hand up. She gives me a look, then lowers her voice. “Don’t go to her room. She’s in the library.”

“Takka.” I thank her, setting my beer down, and head up the steps. My legs are tired, still achy from the hike up to the cliffs yesterday. As I near the second floor landing, then the third, the sounds of the party fade away. Down the hall, the door to the library is slightly ajar, and I can see the faint glow of lantern light spill out into the hall.

I walk towards the door and rap lightly against it with my knuckles. Nothing.

“Em?” I ask.

I hear an indignant sigh, and I know she’s in there.

“Em, please.” My voice is strained, over-eager after too many nights away from her.“Listen, I’m sorry. I was a dick, I know. I was just scared, and still high out of my mind—”

I push the door open and walk into the library. The scent of her is everywhere, intoxicating, overpowering. She’s sitting on the windowsill, arms crossed, wearing something I’ve never seen her in before. It’s red and silky, skimming over her body until just past her knees, with a slit that comes up high to expose the milky white skin of her thigh.

“Agaayu.” My voice breaks out of me, raw and husky. “Uikbaane, what are you wearing?”

That was the wrong question.

“What, you don’t like it?” she snaps. “Oh, well, sorry. I did my best to—what was it? ‘Stay the fuck away from you,’ like you said. You’re the one who followed me up here.”

“No, Em, I’m sorry, I…” I can’t help it. I feel a smile tug at the corner of my lips.

“Oh, now you’re laughing at me,” she says, throwing her hands in the air. “Nice. Can you please leave?”

I look behind me and shut the door, so the people downstairs don’t hear us argue.

“Em.”

“What?”

I sigh, raking my hand through my hair, and wince at the pain in my shoulder. I see it register in her face; a pang of worry, despite herself. I step towards her.

“I’m not laughing at you. I just… I smiled because I like this side of you.”

“Oh, so youlikemaking me angry.” She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms again and looking away, but I can feel something in the air change just a little.

“No, I just—” I run a hand through my hair again, trying to find the words. I wish shit like this came easier for me. “I like the part of you that doesn’t hold back. The part that feels safe enough to yell at me.”

She looks up, her body still turned away from me. The moonlight is skimming over her skin, accentuating the rise and fall of her chest.God give me strength.

“So youdolike making me angry.” Her tone is challenging, but there’s a playful edge now. My inner wolf registers it immediately, dipping his head low and wagging his tail, ready to play.

“I like that you feel safe being angry with me,” I say, and step closer to her. “I like that you feel safe enough to show me how you really feel.”

She holds my gaze, waiting. I swallow.

“Okay, look, I’m sorry for what I said on the mountain. I was a dick. You deserve to be pissed at me. If you want to yell, you can. I deserve it.”

“I don’t want to yell,” she says, and sighs. “But Iamhurt. I spent all night worrying about you. I spent weeks preparing for this. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“I know.” I want to pull her towards me, to hug her and make it better with my arms in a way I don’t know how to with words. But I hold off. “I was scared. The thing I fought up there—I can’t tell you about it, I know. But it made me scared. For you.Becauseof you.”

She looks up suddenly, her eyes wide with some kind of realization, something close to wonder. “The ancestors, the thing you fought—it was forme?”

---