Page 111 of In Her Own Rite

The lights in the center of the ring shift again, and now it’s the night mom and I were taken away. There’s so much sound, so much fear in the air. Blood, screaming. I hear sirens. It’s all so much.

I feel my anxiety rocking through me, harder now, but I force myself to breathe. Connect to the ground. Connect to thekiyyulit.

I’m here. I’m an adult. I’m safe.

My father’s wolf prowls into the center of the ring, towards the memory. He walks through the mist of the scene, coming directly at me. Instinctively, my hand goes to my thigh, to find the knife strapped there between the clasps of my pants. I grab it and take the fighting stance.

My mom is still in the mist of the memory, wailing on the floor. The sound feels like it’s all around me, in me, my mother’s grief and fear punctuating every moment of this, wrapping itself around every sinew of my body. And my dad’s wolf is so big, at least two heads taller than me.

I’m tempted to run. I’m tempted to remember Kieran’s words, weeks ago now—that this isn’t worth dying for. But I’ve been running from these memories and the shadow of my father since the moment I first saw him hurt her. And as I look into his eyes, I tell myself I don’t need to be afraid anymore.

This is thekiyyulit. It’s only as real as my mind lets it me.

“Hey, dad,” I say weakly, and he lowers his head, ready to pounce.

39

KIERAN

“Kieran,” Ivo says as I walk back into the ceremonial hall. “Thalia wants to speak with you.”

“Not now, man,” I say, shaking my head. “It’s a big night. I just want to be with family until Em gets back.”

“I know, I told her. I said we had a rite tonight, but she got even more upset.”

I shake my head. “We haven’t come to a decision. You can tell her I’ll talk to the council tomorrow or Thursday and get back to her.”

“Kieran,” Ivo says, grabbing my arm. “When I told her about the rite, she freaked out. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she won’t. She’llonlytalk to you. Please. I think it’s important.”

“Fine,” I say reluctantly, and I follow him to the marshal’s office.

When we get there, Thalia is tied to her chair again, looking around wildly for me.

“Kieran,” she says as soon as I walk through the door. “Kieran, please, I need to talk to you.”

“I’m here. What’s wrong?”

“Shut the door behind you,” she says. I don’t want to, but the look on her face is grave, and reluctantly I do so. I come to sit before her in the office chair at Ivo’s desk.

“What's going on?” I ask.

“He said there’s a rite tonight. Is this the rite where you go to the cliffs?”

“Yeah. Why?” At the fear in her voice, I feel a shiver run through me. “What were you guys planning?”

She shakes her head, then looks away. She’s exhausted, I can see it; her posture looks almost brittle. She’s wrestling with herself, somewhere in her mind.

“Please, Kieran. Tell me you spoke with the council for me. Tell me you have an agreement.”

“Nothing yet. And honestly, Thalia, I’m exhausted. If you don’t have something urgent, I’ll come back tomorr—”

“Has the person already left?” she asks, interrupting me. “The one doing the rite?”

“Yeah, why?” I ask. “Thalia. What’s going on?”

She lets out a shaky breath. “Okay. Okay. You told me yesterday that it would be wiser to tell you what I know and hope for the council’s mercy. But I can’t live with myself if something happens and I don’t prevent it. I’ll tell you.”

I feel another shiver run over my skin and set into my bones. “Tell me what?

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