Page 101 of In Her Own Rite

“I’m telling you I know you better than you think. Now, come on. Go upstairs and tell that girl she’s your mate, because the rest of us have been waiting for years for you two to figure it out.”

I smile and get to my feet.

“Takka,” I say, nodding at him.

“Any time.”

36

EMERSON

Kieran finds me upstairs, sitting in the library. I’m on the couch by the window, scanning through a book.

“Hey,” he says, walking in.

“Hey.” I look up as he shuts the door behind him.

“What are you reading?”

“An old healer’s book I found. I think this one belonged to Saga’s mentor, or hers before that. It was published in the forties, so the information is a little different than in mine.”

“Yeah? Anything interesting?” He walks towards the window, taking a seat on the couch next to me.

“Not yet. I’m trying to figure something out, but I haven’t found what I’m looking for.”

He nods. “Gabe’s looking great. I can’t believe his chest scarring is totally gone.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” I say quietly. Gabe and I haven’t told anyone about what happened yet, and we decided to keep his cast on until I can figure out what on earth I did to heal his leg. It took me days to recover from how much energy it cost, but I’ve gone back to check, and the break is healed. I’m dying to tell Kieran, but before I can muster the nerve, he puts a gentle hand on my knee.

“Can we talk?” he asks. “I want to finish what we started earlier.”

“Yeah, of course.” I close the book and put it aside.

“I have some stuff I want to say. I need you to know why I’ve been like this.”

“Okay,” I say, scooching nearer.

“It’s two things, I think,” he says, and I can see the nervousness in his face. “First—and this is part of what I needed to talk to Seb about… His rite really impacted me. Seeing what happened to him changed me, and ever since the way he came back, I’ve been blaming myself for not helping him. For notsavinghim and stopping it. And I think the truth is, if something happened to you…”

“You’d never forgive yourself,” I say. “I know.”

“No, it’s not that.” He shakes his head. “I say that, and it’s true. But honestly, I don’t think I could survive it. You’re everything to me, Em. You mean more than anything and anyone else. So for years, I’ve been keeping you safe because, I think… I need to know you’re safe, soIcan feel safe.”

“Oh.” The word comes out like a whisper.

He looks down at his hand on my knee. “It wasn’t fair. I should have supported you doing this. If I wanted to make sure I didn’t have the same regrets as with Seb, I should have helped you do better, not try to hold you back.”

I put my hand on his, running my thumb over the back of his hand.

“The truth is,” he says, looking up. “I don’t know if anyone could do this rite in six weeks. But you’re the strongest and the most amazing person I know. You never stop surprising me. Ifanyonecan do this, I know it’s you.”

I swallow, feeling a stinging in my eyes.

“Kier,” I say, and my fingers interlace with his. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I heard you with Seb in the kitchen, after my first day of training. He said he’d never trained someone from scratch, and that even Maren had never shifted on purpose before. And you said, but she’s Maren. And I just…” I feel my voice warble, and I swallow. “I don’t know. I just wanted to say that that really hurt to hear. That you think someone like Maren is so different from someone like me.”

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