Page 53 of In Her Own Rite

“You’re right,” I say, and I hear Kieran bristle.

“It sucks, though,” Gabe says with some effort, repositioning himself on the couch. “It’s gonna be another year until we can get our ownfikarignow. I won’t be healed in time to do the rite this winter.”

“Don’t worry about that right now,” I say. “You just focus on getting better.”

“I mean, yeah, but it does suck,” Seb says. “We were looking forward to getting our own place soon. Mare and I have been saving, and I know Kier had some money he set aside.”

I glance up at Kieran. He’s been working hard this fall and winter, between training for the rite and taking on extra orders to save for a place. The reminder that he’s doing all this forus—for me—fills me with a kind of warmth.

“I still don’t get why we need three council seats to buy a house,” Maren says.

“You don’t,” Quinn says. “Anyone can buy a normal home. But if you want afikarigbig enough for multiple families, you need at least three elders to make a bid.”

“Why, though?”

“So that we preserve pack life,” Gabe says. “So that thefikarigsdon’t just go to the people who have the most money.”

Seb sighs, and as I see the frustration in his face, I feel for him. His arguments with his mom and Saga have been getting worse lately, and with him and Maren getting together, I know he, especially, really wanted our own place soon.

“Really, we shouldn’t be thinking about this right now,” I say, putting a hand on Gabe’s good knee. “We just need to focus on getting Gabe back to normal and getting through the next few days here while they find the rebels.”

“But it doesn’t have to be Gabe, right?” Maren asks. “Anyone could do the rite?”

Seb waves his hand. “We decided a few years ago that Kier, Gabe, and I would do it.”

“But now it can’t be Gabe, at least not for a while. So why not someone else?”

I look up at her, feeling a shiver go over my skin.

“We don’t need our own place that badly,” Kieran says. “It’s not a big deal to wait another year.”

“No, she’s right,” I say, sitting up straighter. “Why not someone else? We’re getting older. We’re partnering up. It’d be nice to get our own place soon. And just because we agreed Gabe would do it a few years ago, doesn’t mean that still makes sense now.”

“Em,” Kieran says, a warning. I can hear in his voice that he knows what I’m thinking.

I can’t do this, right? I haven’t even shifted in years. But I’ve never really felt like I belonged here, in thisfika. I was always the add-on, the extra limb. The little sister they finally made room for once Kieran joined.

I meet Kieran’s eyes, remembering the chant the council sang over and over as he made his way to me for thekattaka.

It’s time for you to prove your worth. It’s time to earn your place.

“She’s right,” Quinn says. “One of us could do it.”

“Who?” Kieran says dismissively. “You? Maren?”

I barely hear them over the sound of the blood in my ears. I think of my mom’s spirit at the edge of the woods.

You can trust yourself.

When the moment comes, remember: you have everything you need to do this.

Maybe I can finally learn to be strong for them, in the way they always have been for me.

I look up. “It should be me. I’ll do the rite.”

20

KIERAN

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