Page 19 of In Her Own Rite

What the fuck?

Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck.

It was real, right? It had to be real.

The day passes in a blur, and this is all I can think, over and over again. People come in and out of my room at the infirmary to see me. Saga, checking my wounds, pulling me onto my side as I lose the contents of my stomach into a bucket. Gabe, feeling my forehead for fever. Seb, hanging back in the corner of the room, watching me. At some point I hear Heimig muttering something to Saga, asking some kind of question.

My mind is slow, foggy, but I can feel my wolf trying to wake me up. He’s nudging me, trying to get my attention. Something about Em. And I realize: if everyone is here at the infirmary, looking after me, she must be at thefikarigalone.

I groan and try to sit up, and Saga comes to sit on the bed beside me.

“Em,” I mumble, but my mouth feels like it’s full of marbles.

“Here,piu, have some water,” Saga says, and hands me a cup. I gulp it down, suddenly parched. But the taste is disgusting—sweet and savory—and I gag.

“Sorry,” Saga says. “For rehydration. You’ve lost a lot of fluid.”

I look over to the side of the bed, where the bucket that was there earlier has magically disappeared. My brain slowly comes to focus. She hands me another glass, and I swallow it in one gulp.

“Good,” she says, nodding approvingly. “You’re very tired, but you’ll be just fine. Thekattakais just working its way out of your system.”

“You have to go to Em,” I say hoarsely. “You have to protect her. She’s not safe.”

Heimig looks down at Saga, his brow furrowed.

“This is the lingering effects of thekattaka,piu,” she says gently to me. “Whatever you saw was the ancestors, challenging you.”

“No, it was real,” I say, my head shaking. “You have to go to her, she’s not safe. He’s—”

Saga lifts a hand to me. “Stop,” she says, her tone gentle but firm. “Emerson is safe. What you saw in the ring was a vision. And you cannot tell me what it was, or you risk the ancestors’ anger.”

I fall back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling. It had to be real. There’s no way a mirage could have fought me the way he did.

My hand finds its way to my stomach, checking for the gash brought on by his claws. At the pressure, I wince, but it feels more like a bruise now than an open wound.

“We’ve siphoned most of the wound already,” Saga says, noting the confusion on my face. “You were injured, but nothing vital was hurt. Helen did some of her best work. You should be fully healed in a few days.”

My brow furrows, trying to make sense of it through the fog of dehydration and the last of thekattaka. There was so much blood. I couldn’t possibly be better so quickly, even with the faster healing we experience as shifters. Unless they’re right, and it wasn’t real…

“Em,” I mumble, closing my eyes. My fingers find their way to her hair tie on my wrist, and I run my thumb over it. Did I put her in danger?

“She’s not here right now,” Saga says. “You get some rest. I’ll make sure there’s someone to help you through the night, if you need anything. And congratulations, pack elder.”

I hear her move away from me, and she and Heimig walk out of the door of the infirmary. I rest my thumb on Em’s hair tie, thinking of her face. And for the first time in years, I fall asleep without her in my arms.

The next timeI wake up, the light coming through the windows is gold and amber. I sit up in bed, looking around. The sun is low in the sky—either sunrise or sunset.

“About time,” Seb says from a chair next to the bed. “You slept for over twenty-four hours. I was just about to start hacking at a tree with a chainsaw to get you to wake up.”

“Hey.” I sit up and instinctively put a hand on my stomach.

“They were able to heal all of it,” Seb says, his voice flat. “You’ll make a full recovery.”

I swallow, thinking of the blood I lost in the ring, the blinding pain of claws tearing into my body. I can only imagine how much worse it was for him, if they could heal me this fast but couldn’t save his muscle.

“I can’t believe it wasn’t real,” I mumble.

“I told you, man. Don’t let it fuck with you. Come on, I’m supposed to get you ready for the party.”

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