Page 114 of In Her Own Rite

The smell of thekattakain the air. It’s him, I realize. He’s been eating whatever he can find. The rawkattakaplant.

He’s panting, panicked, and I step closer—close enough for him to see me now. I watch as something registers in his eyes as he looks at the knife and the blood on my hands, and then up at my face. He barks again, but it’s not at me—it’s like a cry of surprise, or fear.

“Heij. It’s me,” I say, without thinking.

He snaps again. He must be hallucinating from thekattaka. Maybe he saw the same thing I saw in those memories. But as I see the wild fear and confusion in his eyes, I realize who he thinks is in front of him.

“Not Lena,” I whisper. “It’s me, Dad. Emerson.”

He pants, fearful. I swallow. I can see that he’s sick. I think his spine may be broken, and there seems to be some wound in his side that looks infected, even from here. But he’s still bigger than I am. If I get too close and he attacks—

You will have a choice to make,my mom had said.

He’s an enemy to these islands. He came here to hurt our people.

He was an enemy to my mom, for all the love their marriage was supposedly once based on.

He’s an enemy to me, isn’t he?

You can’t be mine, he’d whispered to me, his voice furious, wicked.No daughter of mine would ever be so weak.

But he’s sick, and from the looks of the infection and the rapid rise and fall of his chest, I know he’s close to death. It must have been days since he’s had real food or water.

You will have a choice to make, Mom said.

My mind is racing. I may have enough energy to heal him. But if I do and he overtakes me, I won’t have enough to fight back, and there’s no one here with me to protect me now. It’s just me and him in the ring. Even the ancestors have left me.

I look down at my blood-soaked hands: the knife in one, the paper flower in the other. You become an elder by defeating the adversary the ancestors bring you. If I save him, will my rite even count?

You will have a choice to make.

I swallow my fear, and I drop the knife in the snow, falling onto my knees beside him, pulling my bag to my side.

“I’m going to help you,” I say. “I have food and clean water, and healing salve. I need you to lie still, okay? I need you to stay calm. I’m going to help.”

41

KIERAN

Irace to the cliffs in my wolf form, passing the common house. Saga, standing outside with Seb, seems to catch the scent of me in the wind and looks up. I force myself to shift back.

“Saga,” I gasp. “Thalia told me Janus is here, on the island. He’s hiding out in the cliffs.”

“What?”

“We have to save her,” I say, moving forward, about to shift back.

“Kieran, wait—” calls Saga.

“There’s no time.”

“You can’t interrupt her rite,” Saga says. “We’ve never—we’ve never had this before. If you help her, I don’t know if we can consider it—”

“I don’t give a fuck about the council seat right now, Saga. She’s up there with her worst nightmare. We have to help her. If you’re not coming with me, I’m going alone.”

She glances at Seb, but before they can agree, I shift into my wolf and start sprinting for the cliffs. It takes an hour on foot, but if I’m in my wolf form, I can make it in maybe twenty minutes.

It’s not enough time, I realize. She left almost two hours ago. It’ll be too late.

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