Page 53 of The Wildcat

Don’t leave.

Damn. Those words play over in my mind and make me feel awful. He thinks I’d run, even after tonight. I can’t even be mad because my head is telling me to run as far and as fast as I can.

Because after that . . .

Being that honest.

Making myself that vulnerable.

I’m not sure where that leaves me. Leaves us.Shit. He’s right. I was thinking about ending things earlier. Self-preservation is a bitch. And she’s telling me I won’t survive Cross Wilder.

The monitor crackles again, and I hear Cross’s voice as he attempts to soothe Jax.

“Hey, buddy. Come here,” he coos in his calming voice. “Not feeling so good, huh?”

Jax’s cries pick up, and Cross sighs. “All right, all right. Let’s get you changed, then we’ll go find a bottle, okay? Maybe if we’re lucky, Cinderella will still be here when we get back downstairs.”

I grab his shirt off the ground and throw it on, then pick up the rest of our mess and head inside to look for something to drink... Something warm.

The kettle’s whistling and I’m eating a cookie I found in the cabinet by the time Cross walks into the kitchen with Jax in his arms. Yup. I’ve got a daddy kink. It’s official. Because my man—bare-chested with his baby in light-blue footie pajamas andcurled up on Cross’s big, broad, bare chest—is fucking stunning. Holy hot daddy.

I want that.

“Found the cookies?” he teases, and I nod. “Guess that chocolate cake cleanse ended?”

“I decided life’s too short to not enjoy cake... and cookies. All things sweet, really. I was eating ice cream out of a carton with my mom and aunt earlier. Thank goodness for good genes, or I’d be the size of a house.”

Cross eyes his shirt hanging off me. It’s so big. A cocky grin slides across his face before he brushes his lips over mine. “You look good in my clothes, Cinderella.”

“Mm-hmm...” I hum because words are hard when your ovaries are inexplicably exploding. And your heart... well, that’s doing other things.

“Can you hold him for me while I make a bottle?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer before handing me Jax, who immediately tangles my hair around his chubby little fist and lays his head on my chest.

I walk the two of us into the other room, while Cross makes Jax’s bottle in the kitchen. The storm has picked up, and I stop in front of a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows to watch the lightning over the lake.

“Oh, buddy...” I rub a hand soothingly over his back as his heavy breathing slows. “Giving my heart to your daddy scares me. But you... You just took it without my permission.”

My little white swan pops her head up.You know...she starts, and my black swan flicks her right off my shoulder.Don’t go there, little miss perfect.

Tired of the voices in my head, I think I close them both off for the last time and hum and old song my mom used to have us warm up to as I sway gently, hopefully calming my poor little buddy.

Cross’s heavy footsteps catch my attention before I feel him move in behind me.

“You know, you look really good holding my son, Everly. Not many things scare me. I’m just not that guy. But the idea of letting you in their lives and then them possibly losing you too...” He stares at me for a long minute. And I feel like I’m holding my breath, waiting for his next words. “That’s fucking terrifying.”

I sit down on the couch, and Cross hands me Jax’s bottle, then walks out of the room.

I remember when my youngest cousins were born. Grace and I had our very own doll babies. We were old enough to enjoy them but not to appreciate how holding a baby makes you feel. Jax’s dark eyes, every bit the same as his father’s, focus on me as he takes his first few pulls of the bottle before they grow heavy and soon close.

“I’ve got three back-to-back away games this week, then one home and another away game next week before the season really kicks in.” Cross comes back in with two cups of tea and holds one out for me.

“Would you mind just putting it down. I don’t want to move and wake him.”

He laughs a short, quiet sound. “Amateur.”

“Yeah well, I haven’t had seven months of practice. Dating a daddy wasn’t in my plans. Dating an athlete wasn’t in my plans either. I don’t date, Cross. I don’t do this.”

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