Page 64 of Vicious Seduction

By the time I got back to the apartment, I’d lost my grasp on composure. Months of worry and frustration compounded until the pressure was unbearable. I had to know if I could trust him once and for all, or I was going to lose my mind.

I let myself into the apartment with the codes Oran had given me earlier that morning. I didn’t waste a minute, immediately falling into the task of scouring the apartment. I didn’t even attempt to hide my actions.

His dresser drawers.

His nightstand.

Under beds and inside closets.

I hunted with a single-minded determination to find anything that might tell me one way or another who to believe. Who to trust. I searched his freezer and inside the toilet tanks. If something was inside that apartment, I was going to find it.

I didn’t stop to eat or clean up after myself.

I didn’t check my emails or even look at my phone.

All I did for hours was comb through every single nook and cranny in his entire home.

I wasn’t sure if it was pure exhaustion or an emotional release like a thunderhead finally relinquishing its hold on the rain, but when I circled back to where I’d started and realized I’d come up emptyhanded, every ounce of energy drained from my body. I folded onto my knees like a swath of heavy wool dropped to the ground.

I’d been so sure I'd find my proof if I just looked hard enough. Too much smoke surrounded Oran—that had to mean fire, right? I needed to rip off that Band-Aid and admit that I’d developed feelings for someone who’d lied to me. Someone who’d only been with me to use me. I was so sure that was the answer, yet when the storm cleared, and I looked back on the devastation I’d created, I had nothing to show for it. No evidence of anything but my own pathetic weaknesses. That and the cold, heavy pistol that lay in my hands.

I stared at it while desperation leaked from my eyes in fat, salty droplets, washing away what little dignity and self-respect I had left. When I heard the front door open and shut, I didn’t budge from my spot on the office floor.

Let him see my disgrace.

The time for secrets was over.

“Lina?” Oran’s frantic voice carried from the living room. “What the fuck? Lina, are you here?” He was moving quickly, probably worried his home had been robbed, considering the disarray.

“Lin—” He froze in the doorway, his cry cutting short at the sight of me on my knees.

I flicked the gun’s safety mechanism on then off. On then off. On…

“Did you break my stepfather’s arm?” The hollow words didn’t sound like they came from me. They didn’t even sound human. I didn’t feel human. I felt dead inside, and it must have shown. When I raised my gaze to Oran’s, he couldn’t hold back a small gasp.

“I did,” he answered tonelessly.

“Why?”

“To make sure he understood I was serious when I told him to stay away from you.”

My mother had been telling the truth for once in her life, making my crushing disappointment ironic.

I should have known she’d be honest the one time I wished to God she’d been lying. Oran’s need to control them insinuated they were a threat to him. And what could my mother do to hurt him except spoil whatever plan he’d had for me? That was the only thing that made any sense.

I slowly stood and cocked the gun. “You had no right to involve yourself.” A thick vine of emotion slunk around my throat and squeezed off my airway, making the last words come out a breathless whisper.

Oran took a menacing step forward. “A day ago, you were ready to call yourself mywife, and you think it’s not my place to protect you?” His words struck deep, triggering a gush of guilt and confusion that fueled a new surge of anger.

“Protect me from who, Oran?” I demanded, raising the gun.

“From yourself,goddammit,” he roared back at me.

He wanted to stop me from what I’d been doing—from finding answers. Stop me from finding my sister.

It was exactly what I’d feared. The very worst-case scenario.

My breath hitched as I took a small step forward. “You don’t have toprotectme anymore. Just tell me the fucking truth,” I cried, my face twisted in agony. “Are you trying to get into the Society? Is that what this whole thing has been about?”

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